You [l.h]

Chapter 29 : Now is not the right time

I got home and went straight to my room with Emily.

"Will you tell me what actually happened?"

That time I knew I couldn't say no so I began to tell her everything. From how our eyes met in class to the moment when he brought me to the infirmary.

"I don't get that guy. He didn't have to stop talking to you in the first place. But he did and he made everything so hard for you and now he came back like nothing ever happened."

I knew that. I didn't get that guy either. But the thing that caught my attention more was the fact that I was acting all fine after I woke up from the extra sleep. I didn't know that I'd talk to him that way but I honestly couldn't think straight.
Or was that the true side of me that wanted to talk to him normally? Was I lying today when I decided not to talk to him? Not to mention I didn't even want to see him.

Maybe a part of me still did and that's why.

"Lily." I snapped back to reality when Emily called me.

"Yeah? Sorry I was just thinking."

"It's okay. So what are you going to do?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. For a moment I was happy with what he did, it felt like those times that he distanced himself from me never existed. He talked to me, even though he looked nervous sometimes, and I talked to him back. But I'm.. confused. I can't understand what's going on. We need to talk for sure. I don't want him to keep acting like he can play with my feelings like this. But I think I need a little time."

Emily nodded, understanding. "Okay. But more importantly for now, you need to take some rest. Do you want anything before I go?"

"I don't think so. I told you I'm feeling better now."

"Okay okay I'll go. But make sure to call me if anything."

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But I felt worse the next day. Great.

My body was aching, it hurt just to get up, and the fever was still there. It had been so long since the last time I got so sick. I really had no idea why this happened suddenly. Such a perfect timing.

I walked downstairs to get something to eat but then I saw Grey. "When are you going back to Canada?"

"In.. a week? I think." I just nodded. He looked at me as I walked towards the dining table and my looks really caught his attention.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He stopped whatever he was doing and got up to help me walk. When I was finally sitting down, I answered, "Fever and its friends. I don't know, never been this shit in so long."

"We should go see a doctor." There he was, being all protective.

I shook my head, "It's okay. It's just one of the phases you know. I will get better soon so don't worry much, it doesn't suit you." He rolled his eyes, "At least stay home. I'll tell your school that you can't come today." I nodded while mouthing thank you to him. I wasn't planning to go to school anyway.

He helped me get up and I went out to the porch. I didn't feel like staying in my room because there was nothing to see. I could at least see people walk if I was outside. Or birds flying. Or trees. Whatever as long as it was not my walls.

I called Emily to let her know that I couldn't make appearance at school. She said she wanted to come to see me after school but her mom wanted to go somewhere with her so she couldn't. I was fine with it, I didn't want to talk much today too. I just wanted to make sure that the sickness would be gone real soon.

My phone rang when I was watching in the living room, it was a call from mom. "Lils, are you feeling better?"

"Mhm, a little."

"Good, do you want me to get you anything? Medicine, food.."

"Um.. food.. anything edible. There's nothing to eat here and I'm sure Grey is hungry but he doesn't say anything since he knows I'm not feeling well right now so maybe you can get him something." Grey wasn't going anywhere saying that I needed company. But honestly he was just staying in his room so I don't know if there was any use lol.

"Okay, hun. I'll be home in a while."

I think I fell asleep while waiting for my mom to get home because I heard Grey's voice at the door.
I decided to walk upstairs to my room, not wanting anyone talking with Grey to see me sleep like a pig on the couch. But I did take a little glance before turning to the stairs and the figure standing in front of Grey was the least person I wanted to see.

It was Luke.

Of course.

My body stupidly froze and I just stood there listening to whatever they were saying to each other.

"But is it okay if I wait here until she wakes up?"

"I don't know.. well yeah, maybe. But not inside because she's sleeping right in that room." He pointed at the living room inside but of course I wasn't there anymore. I was standing still a few meters away from them. Grey looked at me and said a little "oh."

"Well you can get in." Grey allowed. He turned to me and said, "Call me if anything. I'll be in the kitchen."

I should've just left straight to my room.

"Lily. Hi."

I told him to sit down. As much as I didn't want to talk to him right now, I still couldn't let a guest feel like he wasn't wanted in that house.

"Are you okay? Wait no, of course not. If you are then you wouldn't be here right now. Sorry." He looked nervous again.

"I'm feeling a little better." I said shortly, not wanting him to feel any more nervous. He just nodded his head.

We were drowned in our own thoughts for a while until I opened my mouth to speak, "Luke."

He lifted his head to look at me, "Yeah? You need anything?"

I smiled a little, "I appreciate it that you came here to visit me. Also, thank you for what you did to me yesterday. I'm glad that someone who helped me was someone I knew." He looked a little relaxed but I was sure that he knew where this conversation was going. "I.. I know that you want me to understand why you did what you did--I mean, since you told me you wanted to explain everything. But, I need a little time." His eyes, again, held emotions that I couldn't tell. I didn't want to look at them for too long because I knew I would give in and let him talk to me instead.

"I know we need to talk. But really, I don't think now is the right time--"

"No. No." He cut me. "Sorry to cut you off but what I did yesterday, and why I'm here right now is really not for that. It's just because I'm worried and I want to see if you're okay."

"Yes, I get it Luke. I know that. But to be honest... I feel a little uncomfortable knowing that you keep coming to me after.. you know.. after what happened. Feels like everything happened so fast and I can't understand anything. I don't want to talk to you right now, it would make things more complicated to me. So please understand this."

He looked into my eyes for a few seconds before getting up, "Please take care." I nodded. "And I'm sorry for making this so confusing. I hope you feel better soon."