tipsy (ymir x reader)

57. criolla grande

I woke up to yet another unfamiliar ceiling.

last night-

Last night after storming away from the ship I made my way into the city, stumbling upon the tavern Ymir had taken me to earlier in the day.

it looked like it would have lodging

"God I must've looked horrible," I sat up in bed, looking around at the dingy room I had rented for the evening, catching my reflection in the mirror, "I do."

i wonder what ymir is doing right now

forget it y/n

sorry

By some blessing, I managed to make it in just as Hannes was closing up.

i'm not sure where i would've gone after that

certainly wouldn't have been back to that ship

i've cooled down a bit but it doesn't change anything

i need some time away

i think i was going crazy

"There's no point in sitting around here- I should get ready and go downstairs," I muttered to myself.

i wanted space but

i don't want to be alone

i think that's half the reason why i'm in this position- my thoughts are too loud

"You won't believe who came crawling in last night," I could hear scattered chatter from where I stood at the top of the stairs, unsure if it was ok to go down.

"No point in just standing there," a gruff voice startled me out of my thoughts, I moved to the side to let the man who had nearly scared me to death walk down.

he's right you know

since when were my anxieties rational?

since never

"If you're going to gossip you might as well just ask me about it," I announced my presence loudly to the mostly empty bar as I made my way down the long flight of stairs.

i'll probably share

i'm just that kind of emotional

the worst kind

"Speak of the devil," Hannes nodded towards a seat at the bar, "you promised me an explanation last night."

right i did

he seemed worried that something had happened

and i wasn't in my right mind

"I just woke up- give me a minute," I frowned, taking my seat. "Ymir and I fought, that's all."

Scattered grumbles of disappointment filled the room.

WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY ???

that's what happened

we fought

"That girl has never been good about other people- I didn't believe her when she told me she wanted to be the captain of her own ship," he sighed a little bit, wiping the bar. "You should go back- she's worried about you."

"I don't think so- even if she is worried she'll get over it eventually."

i'll have to head back eventually

"Whatever you say," he shrugged, shooting me a concerned look. "You should know that she's a good person, even if she has a hard time showing it."

standing up for her?

"I know she's a good person- that's the root of the problem- she's a good person and I don't want to hurt her."

"She's not the type of person who needs protecting either."

"Everyone needs someone to look out for them," I paused, staring at the floor. "I'm not that person, not for her anyway."

i'm sure there's someone out there

"It's a captain's job to look out for their crew, Ymir knows that."

"Can you tell me about what she was like when she was younger?" I changed the subject away from my problems.

she's cagey about it

"She was a stowaway- I only know what happened before that in vague details, not much to it, a sob story."

"That's more than I know."

"Let's see-" he paused, sighing. "I was surprised when that girl walked in with you, she's not the type to get tangled up with your type."

wealthy aristocrats?

"I don't understand why- several large families are interested in starting exclusive contracts with her."

despite her reputation for being a bit of a pirate

although not much of that appears to be truth

at the very least she isn't doing a lot of pillaging

maybe smuggling

would be hard to tell from her records

"Yours included?" He chuckled, "listen, none of those urchins get messed up with you wealthy folk, at least none of the smart ones."

why not- they could get hired

"You look confused but it's the truth, your kind tend to look down on people like her. I'm sure she had more than one run in with a noble lady who looked like you, and I'm sure it didn't turn out well."

ah

"I'm not like that."

"Evidently- but I'll have to ask you to be kind to her."

this is kindness

"She has to continue her life and I want to continue mine, that's why we're fighting because it would be too hard for us to stay together."

"And yet she insists on trying?"

"That's right- she insists on trying."

"Well then- maybe the issue is you."

"Maybe it is," I shrugged, "doesn't change the fact that I feel like I'm tethering her down, and certainly doesn't change the fact that there are people out there who are better for her."

someone

"Sounds like you have someone in mind."

"There are people she cares about more- and I'm jealous- so what."

doesn't change a single thing

"Do you want to?"

"Want to have something with her? Yeah- I do, that's the problem."

"Then why not give it a try."

"You sound just like her," I grumbled, my gaze wandering around the room. "It would hurt us."

"That's no way to live."

"It's the only way."

"You're a stubborn one I'll give you back."

"Different from every other wealthy heiress you've met?"

"Certainly more interesting- not sure if you're that different."

so-

"What I don't understand is why you would run away from home only to refuse to take anymore risks, you've already said fuck it to your future- why hesitate now?"

you-

"Because it's not just mine."

"It sounds like you're in love."

i think i am

____________________________

(:

- ami