before we meet again

995 days away

Taehyung was on the phone with his best friend for only 20 seconds but he couldn't remember a single thing from their small talk before the last sentence he heard.

"He's coming home."

He slowly lowers his hand from his ear, feeling that his strength is being drained in the armchair he is sitting at. He puts his phone on speaker and lets out the breath he didn't even realize he was holding, careful not to be too loud.

"Who?" he asks, wants to hear someone, anyone other than the name that comes to mind. As sure as he is that he won't hear any other name because of his friend's timid tone, he still hopes.

"Who could it be, Taehyung," Yoongi's voice is a little impatient, "It's Jimin."

"Good," Taehyung leans back on the sofa leaving his phone on his lap, his blank gaze finds the dark blue painted ceiling, his voice as numb as his gaze, "He was going to come back one day anyway."

Yoongi waits in silence for a few seconds, obviously the answer he expected was far from the one he got.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"Fine? Is that all?"

Taehyung feels that the impatience in Yoongi's voice is starting to turn into boredom, which he doesn't really care. He has gotten used to the attitude of his friends towards him about Jimin after the past years.

"We haven't seen each other for years now, what did you expect his return to cause in my feelings?"

"You've spent years, even your life lying, Taehyung. I'm just expecting you to get tired and if not with us, at least be honest with yourself."

Yoongi didn't wait this time, hang up the phone and leave his friend there with the signal ringing.

Taehyung probably doesn't know how many minutes he spent on that seat without moving. He doesn't know how he feels, he hasn't been known for a long time, actually.

"Why does it hurt so much?"

Taehyung can't put a name to the pain he feels while staring the ceiling he painted in this color, because it reminds him of his soulmate, who took everything away from the person he was and who he could be. He still can't find a reason for most of what they did.

"You had no idea what you were doing to me."

He is starting to feel like his mind attacks him again in an unkind way because of feelings he can't control. He feels tears and ache in his eyes that he forgot to blink and thinks he deserved all the physical and emotional pain, deserves to experience a different kind for each time he broke his heart.

Because he was an angel. For all his friends and for Taehyung, Jimin has always been like an angel.

As a matter of fact, Taehyung loves beautiful things. He watches and admires the things he liked for hours, sometimes even draws them.

And Jimin was beautiful. Has an heavenly beauty, the kind that can be met once in a lifetime.

But Taehyung, who admires everything he finds beautiful with extreme interest, could not look at him. Whenever he felt that his eyes were hovering over Jimin longer than necessary, he would withdraw his gaze.

And Jimin could never understand this.

He thought they could look at each other until the end. He wanted it to be like this, and he believed it would be, as everyone who knows them does.

In the end, despite all this, even when Jimin was so beautiful both inside and out, he could never get the reason why Taehyung couldn't love him the way he wanted.

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