Guilty of Unbidden Pleasure

Chapter 38

After 5 years..

Blue's POV

"Happy Birthday Bluwella!!!!!! OMG time flies so fast!" Masayang sigaw ni Dash..

Natawa naman ako..

"We don't even know if it's a he or a she, pano mo nabigyan ng pangalan" mahinang sabi ko

"Lah!!! Ang KJ mo naman daddy Blue! Eh ikaw ang nagpapacelebrate!" Reklamo ni Dash

"Baby keep quiet nga tsk" naiinis na saway ni Levi sa nobyo

"It's okay Levs. Dash will always be Dash" naiiling na sabi ko.

I lit all 5 candles on the cake.

We sang a quick happy birthday song..

"Happy 5th birthday anak.. Tatay misses you everyday.. Kiss me from heaven okay?" Mahinang sabi ko bago hinipan ang mga kandila

Nabalot kami ng katahimikan..

Maya maya ay tinakpan ni Dash ang mukha niya at nagmamadaling pumasok sa banyo..

Naupo si Levi sa tabi ko at inabutan ako ng beer..

Nakatitig lang kami sa mga city lights na tanaw sa glass wall ng condo ko..

"5 years na natin tong ginagawa naiiyak parin si Dash?" Natatawang tanong ko

"Gusto ko rin umiyak pinipigilan ko lang" sagot ni Levi kaya pabiro ko siyang sinuntok

"Pero seryoso Levs, you guys don't need to join my misery every year you know.. You can go ahead and move on with your lives." I said smiling

Ramdam ko ang tingin ni Levi sakin.

"Blue, hindi kami aalis ni Dash. Hindi ka namin iiwan. If you want to remember your child every year, we will join you. You are not just a friend. You are family." he said softly

I will forever be thankful to Levi and Dash...

Tumingala ako para pigilan ang mga luha na nagbabadya..

Today is November 11. This is actually not my baby's birthday but I set this date to celebrate my child every year.

My baby angel, my 11:11.. My greatest almost..

I know this sounds pathetic, but I don't want my baby to be forgotten just because he or she wasn't born. Every ocassion I buy gifts and just store it on it's room here in my condo.

Sounds crazy right? I'm aware... But it gives me comfort.. And the push to continue..

"Wala pa rin?" Tanong ko kay Levi

Umiling siya.

"Honestly, I don't think he will come back Blue. He's either still grieving like you or he finally moved on with his life..." mahinang sabi ni Levi

When my baby was taken from me, Gabriel joined him.

Without a word, he left.