Toxic Love - the beginning of the end Part | LH FF (Part 2/English version)

T W O

Sighing, I scrammed my phone out of my back pocket. I wasn't really surprised as I saw Lewis name on the display. He had somehow managed to reach me despite the radio hole. I just stared briefly at my display, not sure if I should answer the call or just ignore it. In the end, I overcame myself and answered the call.

A cracky noise sounded in the line, then it was Lewis' voice that took its place. „Liv?" He asked, I wanted to answer, but more than a fragile „yes," didn't manage it to climb up my dry throat. Suddenly I didn't feel ready to talk to him at all anymore. There were still those feelings I had for him, tingling in my stomach when I heard his voice. But there were also the feeling of fear. Fear of being hurt like that again and fear he would laugh at me.
Jesus, why did it have to be so fucking complicated...

„Hello?" Suddenly his voice sounded again in my ear and I shook my head to tear myself away from this thoughts. „Do you even hear me?" Pull yourself together now, Liv! My inner voice hissed and I immediately twitched. „Uh... What did you say again?" I wanted to know about the Briton, whereupon he repeated what he just said.

„Can we please talk? We have to clear this! Tell me where you are and I'll come to you!" God how these sentences annoy me... I just couldn't hear it anymore and also, which is why I sent Lewis my location and was now waiting for him. I won't be able to talk to him, so I should get it over with as soon as possible. Maybe then I can finally finish with it and him - and everything that reminds me of him...

Of course, I knew that this was more of a ridiculous wish than a realistic thought, as I will inevitably continue to see it. But maybe it still changes something when we speak about it? If I can even say anything when he stands in front of me...

After almost exactly thirty minutes, I saw Lewis, who was just running through the grass to me. On the spot, my heart began to beat faster, my cheeks glowed and I felt like I was seeing him for the first time. The outfit he wore consisted of a red hoodie and black, short jeans and - Damn why did he have to be so fucking attractive?!

„You have a nice place here..." Lewis said as he came closer and finally reached me. In response, I only smiled slightly, I was not able to do more. He sat down on the trunk next to mine, immediately the smell of his perfume rose into my nose and I began to miss what was between us. I missed this closeness and this feeling of security that he gave me. More than anything else at this moment.

„How are you?" He asked after some time of silence. Tears came into my eyes, I wasn't feeling well. Not at all! But I held them back somehow. I wasn't sure if he was serious about the question or just asked it to hurt me, which is why I shrugged slightly with my shoulders. Actually, he should know the answer anyway, after all, he was the reason why I felt so shitty... However, the question actually seemed to him nothing more than a simple question, because he didn't continue to deal with my rather ambiguous answer, but came straight to the point.

„Listen..." He started and my heart stumbled. I had never experienced him so insecurely and quietly. My eyes involuntarily looked for his, and what I saw did not suit him at all. The dark chocolate brown was saddened by fear? But for what? What scared him, what suddenly made him so insecure? Then he continued. „I think there are a lot things we should talk about..." He looked me in the eye, I swallowed and said nothing. „First of all, maybe the thing with your father. He had asked me at the beginning to interfere a little in your life and be careful that you don't do anything thoughtless..." I rolled my eyes and then murmured a quiet „typical" while turning my head away.

„I mean, he never told me why he was so worried about you, but I never asked him about it either. I just thought that you might sometimes do things that you might regret in the end and therefore agreed... Anyway, what I actually wanted to say, at some point I haven't done that anymore because your father wanted it, I did it because I wanted it, do you understand?" My head shrugged at him. Suddenly, any embarrassment or uncertainty had disappeared and I only felt the blood boiling hotter in my veins.