Toxic Love - the beginning of the end Part | LH FF (Part 2/English version)

N I N E

I love you.
Three Words.
If someone had told me four weeks ago how much three simple words could change, I would probably have laughed. But were these words really that simple?

No, not out of Lewis' mouth. They were anything but simple, in every way. It was probably not easy to pronounce them. And maybe it wasn't easy to realise their meaning either. But it was certainly not easy to process them, at least not for me. There were several reasons for this that I have been trying to ignore for four weeks since he threw these three words at my head. The first reason was that it was Lewis. He has hurt me before, and it would be a lie if I said that I wasn't afraid of being hurt again. Then there was the thing that I still didn't know what was between us now. Were we together, such as a real couple?

We had never pronounced it, but it felt like that. And finally, the worst of everything I think is the fact that I didn't tell him anything about what the doctor had told me. That I have only four months, well, now only three left. Three shitty months to live. Jesus, that was so fucking ridiculous...

Somehow I felt sorry for hiding the truth from him, still, although we actually spend every day together, but I just couldn't. I didn't know how to tell him the truth. I think I just loved him too much, and I definitely didn't want to ruin what we have. Even though I didn't really know what it was...

Completely trapped in my thoughts, I flew over the dance floor. The steps were easy for me, so I didn't even have to concentrate on them anymore, because everything worked by itself. As the music slowly subsided, the playlist reached its end, I stopped. For a moment, I just sucked up the tranquillity in me. Complete silence. No human soul, except the caretaker and I were in this house. Not even Marco, who cancelled me this morning was there. The house was empty.

On days like these, the opera seemed so deserted to me. Otherwise, there are usually choir or orchestra rehearsals here, even on Tuesdays someone is always there and does something. But not today, on a normal Wednesday, but no one was there...

A look at my phone told me that it was already after half past six, Lewis actually wanted to show up here twenty minutes ago, but he wasn't there yet. Where is he? In order to use the time until he is there, I decided to practice a few more individual steps that I was not really sure about. After ten minutes and about five thousand different ways to make a pirouette, Lewis finally appeared.

As a greeting, he pressed a kiss on my lips. I had missed him so incredibly, even though we've seen us last night.

„Where have you been so long?" I wanted to know when we released our mouths, my arms remained looped around his upper body. „My neighbour parked my car, and it took a while to finally reach him..."He explained while he twisted my high ponytail with his fingers. „And how was your day?" He asked and grinned mischievously. „Well, I've been here all day, so pretty exhausting..." I replied to his question and he nodded understandingly. „Well then you must be very hungry, aren't you?"

„What a question, I'm always hungry." I laughed, whereupon he told me about a restaurant what the food also offers to take away. I didn't have to think long to agree with that and so we made our way to the said store.

On the ten-minute trip, our topics of conversation were mainly on the last weekend. The four days in Belgium were nice on the one hand, but on the other hand it was really exhausting to pretend that there was nothing between Lewis and me. Because that wasn't true.

He gives me security, the feeling of being loved and on top of that, he is the absolute hottest man I have ever seen in my life, which has made it really difficult to keep my hands off him.

So time dragged on and when we arrived at my house, we ate the food directly. Not even crumbs remained over. Saturated, I dropped on the couch. „When's your father coming back?" Lewis asked from the kitchen. „I don't know..." I gave off myself arduously. „But late I think." Moaning, I straightened up again and ran into the kitchen. „Why do you ask?"