Toxic Love - the beginning of the end Part | LH FF (Part 2/English version)

T H I R T Y E I G H T

Oh dear, why did it have to be so damn hard? Why did it have to hurt so much and why all over the world, I was in this position?

I lay in bed, wide awake, stared at the ceiling and asked myself exactly that. Why me?
Lewis was already asleep. Restless and not quite firm, I knew that because he constantly rolled around and somehow didn't come to rest. But I couldn't even do that. I was tired, but my thoughts kept me from sleeping.
I thought about what would happen if this operation didn't help either. What if I just die and am no longer here? What is life like then, for my father, for Lewis, for my friends, grandparents? What am I missing?

I asked myself all these questions, even though I knew it didn't help. I wouldn't get answers to it, no matter how much I tried, it wouldn't work. And at some point, it was already in the middle of the night, I also slowly drown in.

*

I stayed longer in the morning than Lewis. Much longer. So long that at some point I woke up again and it was just before twelve. Wow, I definitely needed sleep.

Since I didn't have much to do except lie around, do nothing and take care of myself, I didn't hurry too much to finish. The only thing I wanted to do today was to go to Mercedes and bring the keys for the other car to my father, which he had asked me to do. But I had time, a lot of time... But I didn't want to get bored either, which is why I set out relatively quickly to look for clothes from my closet.

Without thinking long, I decided on a long-sleeved, black dress. The slightly fluted fabric reached up to my knees and threw a few wrinkles when I put it on. For a moment I looked at myself in the mirror, asked myself about what I thought of it and finally came to the conclusion that I liked it.

Next was my make-up, which was just as indiscriminate and simple. I didn't feel like making a great effort now, I mean, for what?
When I had finished all this and combed my hair into shape, I went looking for the key my father had spoken of. It lay on the desk in his office, which was just right for me, because I wouldn't have liked having to search every single drawer very much...

I was just about to look for a bus connection, when Flo's name flashed on my display. I took the call in amazement. „Hey, Flo." I greeted the Turk and tried to close the zipper from my wallet at the same time, which jammed as usual.

„Hey, Liv. Are you at home right now?" He asked, I interrupted my actions. „Uhm, yes?" It's not like I can do anything else great... „That's really perfect, because I'm standing in front of your door and it would be really nice if you could open it." I heard his grin through the line, which made me smile involuntarily. „The key is under the doormat." I briefly explained, what the young man took at the word and opened himself up.

„I'm in my room!" I called when the door closed downstairs. Shortly afterwards, Flo was already standing in my door frame and lit up the room with his radiant smile. „Where are you going?" He suddenly broke out and looked at me once from top to bottom. „I have to bring something to my father..." I declared distracted while looking around me. Where the hell was my fucking phone, I just had it in my hand? „Pretty pretty...." He came into the room. I rolled my eyes ironically. „Shut up, I have to take advantage of it when I get out of here..." My counterpart raised his hands defensively, which I acknowledged with a little convinced head shaking. But I was right, I actually didn't really get out of here since this stupid operation...

„And what exactly brings you to me today? Didn't you mean yesterday that you had to work today?" Flo nodded and then explained to me that he didn't have to work today, apparently the client jumped off, I don't know.

„I thought maybe you need someone to go for breakfast with you or bring you somewhere..." My eyes grew big. „Did you just say breakfast?" My stomach growled at the mere thought of food and when I was honest, I really wanted to go for breakfast somewhere.
So Flo agreed to go with me to a café, where we then sat comfortably and waited for our food. Fortunately, this came relatively quickly, because my hunger only got worse from sitting... „And what are your plans for the near future?" Flo asked me at some point, his sandwich was already eaten up.
„So as soon as I can, I want to finish school. But after that, I really want to concentrate completely on dancing, maybe study in that direction, I don't know." Flo nodded understandingly, I slurped a sip from my coffee.

Time passed, we certainly sat there for an hour and a half until we eventually made our way to Mercedes. Flo accompanied me in, where our paths finally separated.

First I went up to the cafeteria, why didn't I know myself. But something in me already said that I would meet Lewis there, and to my surprise I actually did. However, he did not sit there alone. Not at all, and when I saw who was sitting with him, the joy of seeing him gave way. A pretty young woman, she sat opposite him and laughed. I didn't know what they were talking about, but it seemed funny. Lewis also laughed and I thought she wasn't that pretty after all. Brown, breast-length hair. Blue eyes and this greasy smile. I was able to do that too, and a thousand times better. So what did he want from her? Why were they sitting there? Why did they look like they were very close?

Questions about questions that kept increasing the anger in me. But I didn't even get to confront the two when my phone reminded me of what I was actually doing here.

I made returns because my father asked if I was already there, and when I left the cafeteria I heard someone shouting my name. It was Lewis. Of course it was him. But I ignored him, after all, I didn't want to stand in his way when he talks to other women. I mean, he should. I don't care. I don't mind at all, after all, he has every right to talk to her. That doesn't have to mean anything, a normal conversation... But how she looked at him. Oh God - How she sparkled at him with her goddamn devil's eyes.

I was so incredibly angry. Angry with this woman, mad at what she actually thinks about looking that way at my boyfriend. And angry with Lewis, simply because I can't help it. And even before I knew it, I reached my father's office.

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Hellooo, since there are people who would follow me on Instagram I created an account. The user is: annpakki
I give my best to show you a little bit from my life but as I already said, don't expect too much, I am new in this business :))
(The link to my account is on my messageboard)

See you <33