Toxic Love - the beginning of the end Part | LH FF (Part 2/English version)

T H I R T Y S E V E N

My tears had dried up when I got off the bus to walk the last metres to Lewis. I didn't care if you saw that I was crying. Swollen and red eyes, smeared mascara, everything was not as bad as the shards of my heart on the floor.

Lewis' car was already standing in front of the house, so it means that he is already back from work. I rang the doorbell and didn't have the quietest plan to tell him. How should I face him? The only thing I knew was that I won't lie to him. The last time ended with the fact that he broke up with me. I won't make the same mistake a second time. Somehow that sounds ironic, considering that my whole life is based on making every mistake twice...

Then the door opened and I actually stood opposite him. „I wanted to ask you where you-" He didn't get any further, then I already fell around his neck and kissed him. I didn't know why I did that, but I didn't care either. I guess I just needed distraction, something that made me forget how shitty my life is right now.

We stumbled back into the house, the door closed when I pushed it with my foot. Almost roughly I dragged Lewis' Hoodie, it was best to get rid of it immediately.
At the same time, I tried not to detach my lips from his. I kissed him, probably more and stronger than I had ever done, but I needed that. I needed the feeling of having him with me. I needed some feeling. Some, but no pain.

„What are you doing?" Lewis step away from me, I rolled my eyes. „Liv? What happened?" He took another step back, immediately I felt alone, so incredibly empty and miserably bad. „Lewis, it is, it is..." I couldn't say it. „Nothing happened?" He said and raised an eyebrow, I shook my head. „Please, I, I don't want to talk about it now..." I made two steps towards him, wrapped my arms around his neck and stretched my head up to him to kiss him. Fortunately, he was far too surprised to fight against it or prevent it. Because I didn't want him to ask further. Why couldn't he just shut up for a moment and enjoy the moment?

His hand found my neck, my lips swallowed his wheezing. I got a weird feeling in my stomach. Did I have to throw up because this was just so wrong, or were they the butterflies in my stomach? I hoped for the latter, but I would not rule out the former. Because this was wrong in any case, at least morally. My problems are not solved by this, I knew that, but it made them easier. For a very short moment at least, after that they would still be there, when the moment is over they would wait for me, grab my neck and tear my into the depths. But that was it worth.

We continued kissing. Desperate and urgent. I wanted him now. I needed him now. „Liv." He sighled against my lips. I shuddered as he reached for my waist and touched our bodies. Oh God - what happened to me here? I really lost my mind, I actually went crazy...

With both hands he dragged the coat off my shoulders and dropped it to the ground. Then he reached for my thighs, my legs automatically tie around his hips. Fractions of our surroundings passed me by, all my senses were focussed on Lewis. I smelled him, I felt him, I tasted him. The sweet taste of his lips melted on my tongue and mixed with the strawberry flavour of my lip gloss.

Then he let go of me. I felt soft cushions under my back and before I saw the form of himself, which bent over me and kissed. So captivating, demanding and gentle at the same time that I felt not only going crazy, but also losing my entire mind. If I haven't had that a long time ago...

Lewis' hand slid under my top, goosebumps formed under his fingertips. It was ice-cold and strong and just right. I sighed and couldn't do anything when my eyelids closed. Then he pushed it up, further and further, agonisingly slowly he explored my body. Every place he touched went up in flames. I burned up in his arms, and I couldn't imagine a better feeling than that. Until he finally pulled them back and instead put them around my neck. His thumb brushed my jaw, my neck and I felt the ice-cold shiver trickling over my back.