Toxic Love - the beginning of the end Part | LH FF (Part 2/English version)

F O R T Y T W O

The whimourous sound of the bell woke me up. Did I fall asleep?

It took me a short time to understand where I was and what had happened until I gathered myself up and wandered to the door drunk asleep.
Even before I could ask myself who rang so stormy, I received the answer to this question on a silver platter.

„Lewis?!" I rubbed my eyes. What did he do here and what did he want? „Can we talk?" I rolled my eyes, I would have liked to sent him away again, because I didn't want to talk to him, see him or anything else. And even if he calmed down, the fact that he treated me like a piece of shit yesterday reduced the desire for a conversation. „Please, Liv. I want to apologise..." A pleasing undertone had sneaked into his voice, I almost felt a little sorry for him.

„You have exactly two minutes, then I'll kick you out and how you can fix that then again, you should think about..."
I went back to the house, Lewis followed me.

„Listen, I'm really sorry, you have to believe me." I crossed my arms in front of my chest and leaned against the kitchen cabinet behind me, Lewis stood on the other side of the counter. „You're right, I shouldn't have freaked out like that, but at that moment I just couldn't-" He interrupted himself, his gaze met mine and got lost somewhere inside me.

„You can't help it, Lewis." I finally said. „It's always the same. You yell at me for something that is absolutely unnecessary, and then you come here, apologise and everything is fine again. That's how it is every single time." He said nothing, seemed a little depressed and sad. Maybe that was his way of showing repentance? „But it's just annoying, you know? We always argue about the same things, we turn in circles. Over and over again, it's just too much for me..."

„I'm sorry, Liv. Please just let me make up for it and I promise you that this will never happen again..." He ran around the counter, I was frozen, couldn't move from the spot. „I do everything you want, really. But please forgive me." Now he stood right in front of me. Lewis reached for my hand, I lacked the strength to pull it away.

„Please, Livia..." Oh God - the way he said my name made me melt. And the look into his eyes gave me the rest. „But you have to promise me that such a thing will never happen again!" I just loved him way too much to push him away from me because of something like that... „I promise." The gap between our faces became smaller and smaller, as my eyes jumped back and forth between his. Then it was at zero. Our lips touched and I had forgiven him everything. Every word, every little thing, suddenly it wasn't bad at all.

We broke loose for a moment and he breathed a quiet „Thank you" against my lips. Goosebumps trickled over my skin, damn it, why did it have to feel so good?

I sighed as his fingers slid into my neck and pulled me closer to him. What did he do to me? Actually, I should hate him right now, be angry because he is so shitty stubborn. But all I could think of was this kiss. It's always this kiss that made up for everything, but I really didn't understand how this can work. The only way for this to make any sense is that there is poison on his lips. Something that takes away my strength to think clearly, something that fogged my mind and makes me forget that there is so much that speaks against this. And even if he apologised, that's still wrong. It's wrong because I know very well that something like this will happen again anyway.
It's always the same...

We broke loose again, his hand wrapped my cheek. „I love you so much. And I really didn't want to hurt you, you have to believe me..." I couldn't help grinning. „You're really an idiot, do you actually know that?" Lewis laughed lightly. „I should hate you for that..."

„Oh really..." He supported his arms next to me against the worktop. „I don't think you could hate me..." I frowned because I knew very well that I could do that.
„And you think so because...?" I looked at him questioningly, he shrugged his shoulders. „Maybe because I know very well that you can't resist me anyway. My shame is really irresistible." He straightened up again and put his hands in his trouser pockets and then looked at me amused. A mocking laugh twitched over my lips, Lewis really had a great self-confidence...

„Oh Lewis..." I also straightened up completely. „What should I tell you? Keep dreaming!" I put on an exaggerated smile and hit him on the shoulder while passing by. But suddenly he grabbed me by the neck and pulled me back. „What did you say?" He pressed me against a closet, not to forget the dirty grin on his face. „I told you to keep dreaming." Did Lewis really think I would just leave it on me when he drives one of his ego trips?

„Do you want to know what I dream of?" His hand wandered down my hip, then to my butt, where the handle became firmer. „Certainly not of pink-red cloudscapes..." I grinned. „No." His look wandered to my lips and up again to my eyes. „Of how I fuck you so hard that the only word you know my name is..." I swallowed hard. I got hot and cold at the same time. Suddenly I didn't feel like I could talk to him anymore. Suddenly I felt speechless, completely overwhelmed with the situation and the worst about everything was that that was exactly what Lewis wanted to achieve. I saw the dirty grin in his face and knew how much he liked to see me like that...