Toxic Love - the beginning of the end Part | LH FF (Part 2/English version)

T H I R T Y T H R E E

The days until Christmas passed agonisingly slowly.

The Christmas days came and went and I already felt like I wasn't even present. Since Lewis was with his family over Christmas Eve and I didn't want to let my dad alone with my grandparents I was home. But the mood was not nearly as beautiful and relaxed as it should have been. It was saddened, something was in the air that no one of us talked about. But of course I knew exactly what it was: This was the third Christmas without my mother. And on days like these, I especially missed her.
Since she is no longer there, no one has adorned the house. Nobody cares about the lights in the driveway anymore. Nobody tried to bake these very specific cookies. It just wasn't like it used to be, when we all sat and ate together at the dining table. It was different, her place was empty, and I felt that.

The second Christmas Day was the worst of all. As always, my grandparents came to dinner. While my dad and grandpa were sitting in the living room and talking about anything entertained, I helped my grandma make the food. The fact that this was actually always my mom's job only made it even harder. One part of me still hoped that she would come to the kitchen right away, take the knife out of my hand and tell me not to take over the work of the adults. But that didn't happen, of course not. What did I think? She was dead. She would never enter this kitchen again, and to realise that hurt so incredibly.

„Oh Liv..." My grandma sighed at some point and I felt her looking at me. „I'm so glad you're doing well. You don't know what we were worried about and-" The old lady got interrupted by the ringing of the door.

„I'll go." My father said, who had already gotten up and now walked to the door. „I'm happy too, Grandma." I gave my counterpart a warm smile, which she returned. I heard my father speak to the person in front of the door, but paid little attention to him. It was much more important to prevent me from now talking to my grandmother about this stupid operation. I didn't want to think about it, the evening was already hard enough. That's why I thought it was good to change the topic to something else, which fortunately also worked. At least until my dad tells me that the visit is for me.

„For me?" I asked in confused and putted away the knife with which I just cut potatoes. Who should come to visit me now?

As soon as I had turned around and walked out of the living area, Lewis' wide grin already shone at me. In his hand a huge bouquet of red roses. „What-" The question got stuck in my throat when he approached me and pressed a soft kiss on my lips. I was completely confused and absolutely overwhelmed, because I actually thought he was with his family... „Merry Christmas, babe." His eyes sparkled like diamonds and I couldn't help but grin over both ears. „But I thought you were with your family? How can you be here?" Lewis' grin said it all. „I was with my family. But I leave my girlfriend alone all Christmas days..." I had to laugh, because he was absolutely right about that. Besides, I was overjoyed that he was here. So maybe the whole thing could be a little more bearable...

„Oh, how beautiful!" I finally heard my grandpa call out of the living room. „Come in and sit down with us!" My friend didn't let him say that twice and so he sat at the table with my grandpa shortly afterwards and talked, of course, about this year's re-won World Cup.

Meanwhile, my grandma took care of the bouquet. I felt her easily ram her elbow into my side and then wink at me as she put a pretty glass vase on the counter. Oh dear God - please don't let me blush...

While the food was cooking, I went to the others in the living room. I wrapped my arms around Lewis' neck from behind and pressed a kiss on his cheek. Then I put my head on his shoulder and stayed a few moments like that. It was so nice that he was here, that made the whole situation so much better...

„Are you coming with me for a Moment?" I whispered in his ear, the grin on his face widened and he nodded. „We'll be right back..." I explained to the others, and knew at the same moment what they thought of us now. But they should, actually I didn't care. Well, maybe it doesn't matter. I knew it was still weird for my father, and that he didn't say anything when we left, only confirmed it to me once again. But I tried to ignore the greasy knowledg of the adults when I take Lewis by the hand and drag him behind me.

I opened the door to my room and had already closed it again the following moment. „Babe, what-" Lewis started, but was interrupted by me when I approached him and wrapped my arms around his neck. Sighing, he surrendered to the kiss and drew me closer to him. Heaven - how I missed it. How I missed him. Suddenly everything was better, easier, and I felt that this day was incredibly beautiful.

A cosy warmth filled my stomach, suddenly I had forgotten what it meant to miss someone at Christmas. Because I didn't do that, not at that moment. I didn't mean to say that Lewis replaced my mother, because no one could do that. But he helped me to make the pain of her loss more bearable. And maybe he would even reduce it so much that I could finish with her at some point...

„Thank you for being here..." I breathed against his lips, my nose touched his and I had to grin. Then I closed the gap between us again and kissed him. My fingers ran into his neck, his hairline and I wanted to tear this sweater off his body. But I held back, at least I tried. But hearing him enjoy this kiss only made it harder than it already was.

Our kiss became more and more demanding and wild until we finally lay on my bed and tried to keep our hands with us as much as possible. Because we both knew how it ended if we didn't make it. Nevertheless, it was really hard, there was nothing I wanted more than to touch Lewis. Right here and now, I didn't care that my family was waiting downstairs, who probably already wondered where we were staying. And maybe it was even good that my father called for us at some point and thus inevitably interrupted us in our actions. Nevertheless, I was sad and a little offended, because I didn't really feel like going down there again. The feeling when I know Lewis is with me makes the pain in my heart more bearable. Kind of paradoxical, considering what torment he has once inflicted on me...

But that's just how it is, and I can't change anything about it. Not even if I wanted to, but I didn't wanted to change it anyway. I was satisfied with it, and I was ready to let the past be a thing of the past...

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Hellooo friendsss :)

This is a general question and there is nothing for sure yet!! What would you think of a Love-Triangle with Lewis? Like there are three books with „love" in the title and ofc him as person.

So the first one would be toxic love and the other twos other titles but quite similar...

Leave your opinion in the comments!!

See youu <3