I'm in back Czechia on Christmas. I arrived yesterday. The week and something before I was with Brook and we spent a lot of good time. And I was with the boys on like two days.
I miss them but I missed my family too. So I'm happy that I can be here for Christmas. The Christmas Eve is in a week so I was shopping a little for some nice Christmas look.
I bought a lot of presents in Britain because I think it's cool for my brother especially have something from Britain. We gave every year a presents to our close family and dad, me and my sister to all family of course. My brother doesn't have so much money to buy a presents to our bigger family so he just bought something for me, sissy and dad. He was sad about it but I told him that it's not okay.
First time when I was buying presents was year after the accident and I'm still so sad that I didn't have the opportunity to buy present to my sister and mum before their accident.
But I was just 9 when it happend it was close to my 10th birthday so I'm saying that I was 10 because people aren't so carrying then. It sounds weird I know but when the people were asking and I said them I was 9 they looked at me with so much pain and it just hurt me more. I don't know why but the 10 isn't so much "painful" for them.
I was at their graves today and I bought them some new flowers and I lit them candles. I was going here really often because it helped me allways and I wasn't here for so long so I just needed it. We were going here with rest of my family allways but when I was older it just hurt me when I saw my little brother cry and my sis too. So I'm not saying that I stopped going here with them but just sometimes.
My eyes were and are watering. It just so hard. When I was with them almost 10 years everyday and then they just disappeared from my life. And I saw my family so broken. Just so broken.
When I miss them I go to one of the boys. They allways help me but now I'm alone here. It's so confusing. Because I'm with my family what I love from all my heart but I'm not with the other one. The one that helped me so much as well.
I miss Brook, Matteo, Ellie, Jasper, Louis, Liam, Harry, Niall and Zayn. My second family. But I am so happy that I'm here with my "DNA family" I'm not saying that I don't love them but it just hard to have almost every friend in a different country. I eish them all to be here or there just my family and friends on one place. But that's sadly not possible.
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Today I spent with Viktor, his girlfriend and Alex. Yes with his girlfriend. She's here now. Before the Christmas Eve. And we are friends.
We were on lunch and did some funny stuff. But it just don't feel same like it was on the camp and when I and Alex were best friends forever.
To the camp. This summer I wasn't there because I needed to peck the things and buy some new things and just prepare the things to Britain and school. But I missed it there and I miss it now. I want to go there next year but I don't know if I will be there. Maybe on some visit not all the two weeks. I miss it but I just don't think that I want to go there like someone with so much responsibility. So yeah...
I go shopping with Ann in a moment.
We bought some new clothes and had fun like sisters again after long time. We were talking about some things and how the school is going what I told her honestly. I don't know if I will stay there next year because it's so stressful for me and I don't understand most of the things. Then we were talking about friends and some girl stuff.
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So this is next chapter hope you like it. Thank everyone for support voting, following and everything. I appreciate it and it means a lot for me. I love y'all. Bye<333
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Life Is a Roller Coaster |Sequel|
Random!!!!Warning, you can find here eating disorder, maybe little depresion thoughts and hints of self harm!!!!! 2nd book of Life so Sick or Perfect serie Amy is going to completely different country to live a new life. How's she after what happened?? Wh...
