Unintentional Heart's Desire

The usual.

Amy had never been in love before, but she'd come pretty close to loving someone of the opposite gender.

The story of how she almost gave her heart away to someone who didn't want it, wasn't something she enjoyed getting too much into, but it came with an important lesson.

When someone shows you they don't care, believe them.

She'd pretty much lived by that rule since the unpleasant experience and thus remained stress-free.

It was the reason she never took offense to all the men who always went for her sister every time they were together; they weren't hers to have and if they had been, they would go for her instead.

Even though she'd never experienced the feeling of love, she knew that it existed and she'd believed in it.

She knew that her person was out there and it would just feel right. Everything would align and it would happen without much effort.

Amy had partly prepared herself for it, but she never accounted for when she would get mixed feelings from someone her heart had chosen without her permission.

What if she'd been wrong the whole time?

What if it was supposed to be difficult? What if it needed to rip you to shreds before it brought you back together?

The same way that life gave you lemons in order to make lemonade. Did she have to experience the worst before having the best?

She always thought the emotions would be in plain sight, not hidden in the puzzling agendas of grown-up men who couldn't get their feelings in check.

But even knowing this, why couldn't she just ignore it?

Why couldn't she listen to her brain that reminded her that she knew better? To ignore the uncertainty because it always carried grief.

Nothing good truly ever came from the act.

Complicated wasn't always bad, but when it was, it ripped what was left of the heart to shreds, and Amy wasn't sure she could take yet another disappointment, her heart had taken its toll.

"Are you ok?"
The words echoed in her mind as if she was in a dream, oh how she wished that were the case.

She finally looked at the boy and then,

"Yeah of course."

The truth? She wasn't.

When the glass of water shattered on the floor, and she turned around to meet the dazzling green eyes that had been the product of her nightly dreams, she felt herself melt.

It was the kind of melting that only came with his presence, his proximity, his mere existence.

The feeling that only he could ensue from her, otherwise it didn't exist. He made butterflies and rainbows seem insignificant.

The moment lasted for a few seconds but it had been the most explosive few seconds of her life. Time stopped and it was like they were the only two people in the room.