Do you remember me? (skz fanfiction)

7

Jeongin PoV

The warm almost hot water touched my naked body. It was a liberating feeling. I didn't think I would ever miss taking a hot bath so much. I could have stayed in the bathtub until the water got cold. As I stepped foot out of the bathtub I felt relieved. I felt clean again after a long time. The dried sweat and blood that was sticking to my skin was gone. I just felt good again after a long time.

I looked in the tarnished mirror and was glad I couldn't see myself. But I could see how thin my face was. "I seem to have lost quite a bit of weight," I murmured. I looked at my body. It was so skinny and weak... I looked at the scars I got from the tests. They were only slightly visible, but you could see it well enough. I hated my body... I didn't want to see it anymore... It was so ugly.

I looked in the mirror again and this time I could see myself. I hated this sight. I looked deep into my own eyes and started talking to myself.

"Stop thinking about yourself like that, it will only drag you down even more."

But a voice in my head began to intervene.

You are ugly. You are weak and good for nothing. They should have left you. You don't deserve to be here. That shower alone went to your head. You felt good am I right? But you should have stayed dirty. 'Cause you just don't deserve it Jeon-

"Shut up!" I yelled at the mirror. 

I looked into my eyes again. But I quickly looked away. I didn't want to look at myself anymore.

I turned to the garments Chan had given us. When I put it on I felt a little more comfortable. I just hoped nobody heard me yell. As I walked out the door, Changbin was waiting for me, who wanted to take a bath next. He looked at me slightly worried. I knew he heard me. Out of respect, he didn't ask me about it. I was very grateful to him for that. The only thing he said was: "I should tell you that you share a room with Hyunjin. It's on the second floor right next to the stairs." "Thanks," I said quietly and went upstairs.

Hyunjin has been my best friend since we were kids so we were always together a lot and that didn't change. But ever since we were taken away from our families, he has been so caring for me. We were actually taken to two different places but he managed to be so annoying to the men in the white coats that he was brought to me. Which I was happy about. I don't know what I would have done without him.

I entered the room. Hyunjin sat on the bed and smiled softly at me. "Hey," he said and with a pat on the bed motioned for me to sit next to him.

"The bath was refreshing wasn't it?" I replied with a slight nod. 

We started chatting about all sorts of things. Most of what we talked about was past moments together. 

"Can you remember when you stayed the night at my house and we watched a horror movie that scared you so much that you didn't even dare to get out of the blankets?"

 I looked aside in embarrassment. 

"The movie scared me!" 

"You hugged me all night I could hardly sleep." 

"Don't lie! Your mother took a picture of you also sleeping peacefully and hugging me."

"S-she took a picture?" 

"Yes she sent it to me and said:" 

I quoted his mother: "in case you ever have to blackmail him" 

"That's what she said?!" he said, pretending to be offended. I nodded and started to burst out laughing. Hyunjin looked at me seriously, but that didn't last long as he also started to laugh. After we stopped laughing I had to yawn. "Let's go to sleep," Hyunjin said.

He covered us both with a blanket and turned of the lamp. Sudennly he wrapped his arms around my waist. I was shocked for a brief moment and didn't know what to do. "Is it okay if I hug you? It just makes me feel safer," he whispered and I nodded. After I had relaxed and was no longer so tense, I sank into the mattress and quickly fell asleep.

Dec 28th 2022

I can't believe this year is almost over already... I'm not ready for 2023 ~Yumi