Do you remember me? (skz fanfiction)

39

Hyunjin PoV

"I don't understand..." Jisung whispered and lowered his gaze to the floor. I slowly let go of his arms. "So it wasn't his fault?" he whispered again and he started to tremble slightly. His breathing became faster and more irregular. He clutched his chest, closed his eyes, and attempted some sort of breathing exercise, but it seemed like it was only going to make it much worse.

Again I took the younger's hands and spoke in a soft voice: "Jisung look at me. It's okay just breath with me. Breath in," I breathed in. As I exhaled, I said, "Breath out." He opened his eyes and tried to follow my instructions. At first it didn't work well but after a while he was breathing normally again even if tears ran down his cheeks.

He tried to understand everything I had told him. I realized it was confusing. It still confused me. It was puzzling that for a time friends of ours had been doppelgangers deceiving us. And Jisung had to sort his thoughts first.

He wiped the tears from his cheeks and then looked into my eyes. There were dark circles under his eyes and his skin was chafed, most likely from all the tears he had been rubbing away, which he had apparently been doing a lot the past few days. He suffered so much and I would have liked to have been there for him more.

"It's so confusing Hyunjin," he said, letting out a shaky breath. "I know," there was a brief pause as I stroked the back of his hand with my thumb to calm him down before continuing, "but we all have to stick together now. Somehow try to start over even if we've lost someone. I know for you it's the hardest but you have to let go of him at some point. I'm pretty sure he wants you to get on with your life... Now that we're in this world he wouldn't want you to despair and hardly sleep because of him. I know he would want you to learn to live without him, he just wants you to be happy and maybe even meet someone else someday. It's hard, but I know that you'll manage to let go, even if there's still time needed... I don't want you to stay trapped in this black hole you've been living in since he died. I want to get you out of there with the others but that only works if you let it. So let's do that together. All of us. Because I firmly believe that we can do it together."

As I said this I felt bad. I didn't know how Jisung felt and I couldn't imagine how desperate I would be if Jeongin died, but I wanted to help Jisung. I couldn't understand his feelings but I wanted to try. I wanted him to be able to let some joy back into his life. I wanted to be a good friend.

When I think back to how much we fought when we got into the new rooms of the institute and how many times we told each other that we hate each other, I could never have imagined that one day I would stand in front of him as a friend would say things to him so that I could finally see the intended smile on his lips again. It would take a while but I hoped I could see it again.

On his cheeks ran down more tears which he wiped away again and then squeezed my hand tighter and just looked at me. Then he nodded and said in a cracked voice: "Yes... We'll get through this together."

His eyes kept filling with tears. After a while, his gaze wandered behind me where Seungmin and Jeongin were standing. Jeongin had his face buried in the other's shoulder while Seungmin rubbed circles on his back. Jisung let go of my hand and slowly walked towards the two. In a low voice he called the name of the youngest who looked up, broke away from Seungmin and went towards Jisung. In the next moment, the two were hugging each other tightly while sobbing.

My heart broke at the scene and I was sure that Seungmin felt the same way. I watched as they pulled apart and then wiped each other's tears away. Jisung kept whispering that everything would be fine while Jeonging kept nodding. And that broke my heart even more.

Jisung turned to us and said , "I have to apologize to Changbin."

Mar 12th 2023