Tragically Yours

| 21 |

"I can't fucking believe you'll let me drive you to the post office again." Ethan grits his teeth as he drives away from the post office to back to my apartment.

I really don't understand why he's frustrated about it, "It's not that big of a deal. I'll pay you some gas money if that's the problem." If it's gas money he's worrying about, then I'll understand, but if it's something irrational, then maybe I'll tolerate it. "Besides, if you came back to your desk early, then I shouldn't have written another letter." I glanced at him to see his reaction and, with a heavy guilt, I could see his face softening. "I'm sorry, I promise that's the last letter I'll ever send."

With that last statement, Ethan's face turns quite aggressively towards my direction. "What do you mean that'll be your last letter you'll send?" He immediately turns his head back to the road, but I can still feel him giving me a side glance.

Should I tell him the truth, or should I lie? What's there to lie about? A person can't lie about something that's an equivalent for a happy ending. It's rude to deceive people from hoping to have a happy ending. Not only if I lie and deceive Ethan, I'm always deceiving myself to believe my words then my intuition. With a heavy sigh, I decided to tell him the truth. "There's no point in sending another letter if the person who replied to my letters isn't actually Gail. It's a waste of time between us."

Silence fell between Ethan and me as we both watched the traffic light turn red. A couple of seconds has passed and the light flashes green, making Ethan step on the gas pedal. "What if the person replied tomorrow saying that they're actually the Gail you're hoping to see?"

"Quite unlikely to happen. Since Lisbeth had found out that her parents may have died of natural causes, there's no way of telling that they'd inherited their old home from their daughter." I glance away from the road ahead and turn my gaze to the side of the road. Seeing two people walk with each other while holding hands made me regret looking away from the road ahead. Sadly, I've already done the motion, I have to commit to it. "Besides, even if Gail received the ownership of the house, there's a possibility that she'd changed from the Gail I know. The Gail I've known and loved."

Change is constant, I get that. But sometimes too much change happening without a person knowing can be a bit overwhelming. And every so often, they can't keep up with the constant change that is happening. Imagine a person who's been frozen for years, and it's still alive. The world has changed around that person, but it's still frozen. Once the person broke free from their own frozen box, will they be able to adapt from the millennial worth of change around them? In a sci-fi movie, they'll be able to do that, but it's solely fictional. Not all people can survive the change-basically survival of the fittest. What if I couldn't adapt my heart to accept the change Gail had gone through? What if the sparks before had gone because both of us had grown up? So many questions, so few answers.

I heard Ethan give out a faint sigh and I found myself looking at him. There's still a feeling that he's about to say something that is worth all my attention. "Vy, there are some romance novels that had taught me something, and I think you also need to hear it." He'd pause, waiting for my reply, but I've only stared at him, waiting for him to continue. Luckily, he did continue, "If you truly love a person, you'll let them change into who they really are. You can't cage a caterpillar forever hoping it won't turn into a butterfly. You of all people would understand that change is inevitable, but if you truly adore life and perhaps a person you love, you'll try your best to adapt and accept the change. Even if it feels overwhelming at first, but if you persevere, you'll learn to adapt to life or even learn to love the person again despite the changes." Another pause from him and I see a small smile forming on his face. "That only works if the change is a good change. Some changes are bad and noxious. It's up to you-" He quickly pokes a hand to my chest before continuing, "-to see if the change is good for both of you."