out of the grey [N. Sebastian]

hard days

[<3]

a day passed and it was currently 6am, the house was quiet and everyone was asleep. it was eerily silent at this time, unlike usual. the sirens, cars honking and the occasional yelling wasn't heard. there was the occasional dog bark though.

I sit outside in the backyard just watching the dark sky slowly turn brighter and brighter as the minutes pass. it was comforting, not even a cricket was heard. the warm air brushes across my face causing a sigh of content to leave my mouth.

I opted for the hard ground instead of a chair, finding odd comfort in the not so comfortable ground. it was cool to the touch, almost calming.

everybody has that day that they are just completely drained and just want to disappear for the remainder. today is that day for me. I slept like shit and just decided to try and get some piece outside. on days like this I would usually drive somewhere for a few hours and just sit in my own thoughts, maybe write a few things down but with the pandemic, my options are very limited.

disappearing for a day or two doesn't seem so bad. you have time to yourself to think, become calm once again and recharge. go to a beach and sit as the sun begins to rise, waves crashing and the smell of salt water. a place of bliss. it's not running away from your problems, it's just a chance for you to get your thoughts together and relax before you face your problems once again. this time though you'd be facing them more clearly and make it easier to over come.

the sun peaks over the trees, the sky a pink hue and few birds flying across the sky. I close my eyes and take a deep breath again before I hear the door open. I exhale and look over my shoulder and see Noah standing in the door.

"hey." I give him a very small tight lipped smile.

"hey, I was wondering where you were. are you okay?" he comes and sits next to me.

I just nod my head and stare up at the sky.

"how long have you been up?" he asks brushing my hair behind my ear.

I look at him, and then down at my hands that I was picking at before whispering. "I didn't really sleep, maybe like an hour of sleep. I didn't come out here until 5."

"baby what's wrong?"

I know he's looking at me, eyes filled with concern but I don't look at him. he takes a hold of my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.

"todays just one of those days. there's no particular reason, just a hard day I guess." I finally meet his eyes and give him a small smile.

he nods his head and pulls me into a hug. a hug that makes my bad day not so bad anymore. I rest my head on his shoulder as we both sit in silence watching the sun fully come alive.

"noah?" I whisper.

"hmm?" he hums.

"thank you."

"for what?"

"everything. sitting out here on this horrible uncomfortable ground, holding me. comforting me."

"of course, I'll always be here when you need me." he says placing a kiss on my forehead.

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