out of the grey [N. Sebastian]

noah

[<3]

he read everything she's ever written within the pages of her journal. she left him a note saying that if he ever missed her, to read what she had written.

confusion turned to sadness and that sadness to anger but then it all died down to understanding and hurt. not for himself but for the woman he loves more than anything. he looked at their pictures day after day, wishing he was with her to take more.

every time he found a favorite photo, he'd send it to her explaining why it was his favorite, knowing she'd see it once she was ready to open her phone.

he'd send her songs that reminded him of her and every morning and night he'd tell her how much he loved her.

he wanted her to know how much he needed her and how willing he was to wait as long as she needs. he loved her with every fiber of his being and he needed her to know.

the night he wrote 'just pretend', he read a poem of hers, something she had written before she left.

'black and white was all to know,
to know not of the colors that grow.
but loving you,
our colors we knew are now different hues.
ethereal wonder,
is to describe our love.
so delicate,
yet so beautifully intricate like the bind that ties us together.
i made a promise to myself before we met,
one I vowed to keep.
for you I'd wait,
whether it be in another life,
a different time,
or a place so so far away.
I vowed for that day,
and for that day,
I will wait."

he wrote through tears, scribbling so quickly the words nearly began to blur together, but he saw the picture. he knew who he was writing to and it didn't matter if it was perfect or not.

he sent flowers on Valentine's Day, her birthday and their one year anniversary. writing paragraph in cards and once he picked the pen up, he couldn't stop.

emotions were poured in the months she was gone. everyone felt the presence of her disappear, only a glint of hope, like dust floating through the air. they all tried to keep the atmosphere happy and warm, but it wasn't perfect when she wasn't there.

he was happy to talk to her when he did, even when her mom would pick up and Maeve didn't want to talk. he was just happy to hear about her. It broke his heart but he understood. he would never push her in the direction of her not wanting to do something.

he was kind, gentle and patient when it came to Maeve, especially now. he loved her too much, more than he thought anyone could. it was an emotion so strong.

he knew she would be okay, and he would wait for that day no matter how long it took.

he kept busy, working in the studio or taking every opportunity he could to get out of the house. everything he did, he thought of her, but as much as it reminded him of her presence being gone, he knew every day was a day closer to being able to hold her in his arms again.

on Christmas he sent her a build-a-bear that carried a voice recording of him and everyone saying "we love you Maeve."

unknowingly to him, she cried to the gift, clutching it to her chest and kept playing the recording over and over again. that night was also the first time in months that she made the call instead of him.

the shock he held within himself and the smile that lit up his face hearing her voice expressing how much she loved him and everyone.

that was the night he knew she was better, she was gonna be okay and he was gonna see her very soon.

that was also the night that he knew waiting was worth every second of every day. it was always worth it when it came to his girl.