Caught in Storms

Laying Low

-Emma-
I wake up in the middle of the night not remembering where I am and a little disoriented. I stand up carefully and look around, realizing I'm in Bucky's little home in Wakanda, Bucky asleep in the bed. I go into the bathroom and splash water on my face and get a drink. I change into one of Bucky's shirts and pull on some clean panties then brush my hair out.
I go outside and sit in the grass by myself, going over the day in my head.
I'm a super soldier. I have spent my adult life being able to dodge serious harm to a certain degree, skirting germs and basically being lucky that I was put through pain as a kid. I rub my face in my hands and start to cry. I had no real release of emotion all day today and now it is finally spilling over. Bucky acting like a jerk sort of pushed the tears away and made me hold my anger out front instead.
I sit there for I don't know how long and just sob quietly to myself as I work out who I am and who I am going to be from now on. My mind drifts to Bucky, hoping that he will be able to help me work through all of this and that he understands me enough to want to keep building this relationship with me. His anger confused me earlier today, but it still hurt when he shoved me off and stormed out for hours. Sam said that Bucky was scared for me, having been so close to Hydra and knowing what they are capable of in terms of harm and pain. But, he more than made up for his outburst, and shows every day how much he really cares for me, even if he's angry.
These past few weeks have been a real whirlwind of emotions and passion between us and all of the missions and such, but he has been amazing to me.
I am finally able to calm down and just exist in the moment, letting my mind wander to nothing in particular when I suddenly hear someone talking.
I turn and go inside to see Bucky tossing and talking in his sleep, the nightmare seemingly violent. He gasps out loudly and is clutching the bedsheets hard. I come over to him and gently rub his chest and forehead, trying to soothe him.
"It's ok Bucky, it'll pass," I whisper softly and keep stroking his head. I sit in the floor against the edge of the bed and I start to sing to him gently. After a moment Bucky starts to calm down and is eventually still. I rest my head on the edge of the bed as I continue to sing and pet him, nodding off as I sit there on the floor.

I am woken up gently in the morning by Bucky, rubbing my arm and kissing my forehead.
"Emma what are you doing on the floor?"
"Hmm? Oh, I had to get up in the middle of the night and when I came back you were having a bad dream. I just sat here and held you until you were okay."
Bucky blushes deep red and kisses me passionately as he gets out of bed. Before he goes very far, I grab onto his arm. When he turns to look at me, I have him sit back down on the bed and I sit next to him.
"Can we talk about yesterday?"
"Oh, yeah, of course Emma."
"Look, I get why you were angry, but if you want this to work past the sex with me, I need you to be here for the hard stuff. What you did really confused me and hurt, and I felt...still feel like maybe you're not looking for something more...permanent with me."
Bucky is quiet for a moment as he thinks about what I said. I can tell the last bit bothered him some, but I honestly needed to get my feelings about this out there.
"I'm sorry, I know what I did was wrong, and selfish. I left the room the way I did because I didn't want to yell at you or anyone else. I know I have a bad temper and can be an asshole, yesterday proved that. But I really do want to be with you Emma. I will do better, I promise."
"I know you will, I just wanted to make sure you understood my side of things too. Especially with us still getting to know one another, it's important for me that we both be honest with one another, and stay through the hard and the easy stuff."
"You're right, Emma. I'm sorry."
"It's okay, Bucky," I say softly and kiss his cheek gently. We both sit there for a little while, just taking in what was said between us.
"I'm going to need you to get dressed for the day, okay doll? Shuri wants to meet us at the armory after the last of the tests and memory recall are done, then we will have to head back to the compound. Hill wants you to lay low until we figure out more about the Gunrunners, so you, Sam, and I will be living at the compound. Now that we know they had the serum, they might be more connected to Hydra than we know and that house is not enough protection."
"Okay Bucky," I say nervously and I start to get ready to go, pulling on some jeans and a T-shirt and my boots. I throw my hair up in a messy bun and don't even bother with my contacts today.
Bucky drops me off at the lab with Shuri and Bruce, where they start going over the results of my blood tests and such. I am half a super soldier, and I have some of the strength and abilities as Bucky, but not to the same degree. I am more likely to get hurt still and I will still need to be as careful as if I were normal, just until we know the fullness of my abilities.
For a few hours they run memory recall drills with me, being able to pull some slight information from them, but honestly not much. The disassociation is too deep by the time I was about six years old.
"I'm going to go ahead and let you be done for now, but if you and Bucky plan on visiting, I'm going to want to spend some more time with you on this," Shuri says concerned.
"Yes, thank you Shuri," I smile and hug her softly and then hug Bruce. I head out of the lab to see Bucky just getting off of the elevator.
"Hey, everything go okay?"
"Yeah, I'll talk about it later. For now I just really need to do something else with my thoughts."
"Understood, doll," Bucky smiles and kisses my forehead, which seems to have become second nature to us now.
"We have some time till we need to meet Shuri, do you think maybe you can show me around?"
"Absolutely," Bucky smiles and takes my hand excitedly.
Suddenly I am being drug all over Wakanda, being shown some of the places that Bucky would go to sometimes, and meeting so many amazing people that he spent time with. His favorite place was this nice little cantina that is just on the edge of the city, where he would sit and talk with people and eat some of the most amazing food I've ever tasted. Bucky has the owner, Kamau, make me this really good drink that makes me feel more lightheaded than any other liquor has before.
"We definitely will need to come back, there is still so much for me to see," I say happily.
"You come back, we take care of you and White Wolf," Kamau says and takes my hand in his smiling.
"Thank you for your kindness Kamau," I smile sweetly and kiss his cheek.
"You take care of him, he trouble, but not with you," Kamau says with a wink as he motions to Bucky. I giggle softly and we finally leave the cantina.
Bucky and I head back down to his little house and gather our things up and put them in the jet, meeting Sam and Clint there too.
"Everything all good," Sam asks.
"Everything is all good, Birdbrain," I say and hug him as we all head to the armory.
Shuri and some of her chief engineers are waiting for us, a table with a cloth draped over it is sitting behind her.
"How are you feeling after this morning, Emma?"
"Tired but better, thank you Shuri," I say softly and shake her hand.
"I have some things for you, I hope you will put them to good use," she says as she pulls off the cloth and reveals weapons and a modified version of my suit. Sitting on the table is a new set of hand axes that look much like my old ones, but with the Norse and Celtic designs that my suit has and the metal is lighter. There is a matching two-handed axe that has the perfect grips for my smaller hands.
"Is this..?"
"Your new vibranium axes? Yes! I also took the liberty of modifying your suit. Within the Norse symbols I have underlined the same technology that my brother's Panther suit uses to pull in force and release back on your enemies. I have also fitted your vest with bulletproof mesh lining and more support for your movement and fighting style, and the straps to a removable magnet for your gear if you do not feel like carrying it in your hands. If I could figure out how to get one into it, there'd be a parachute too," she chuckles as I move the two-handed axe in my hands. I squeal happily as I start to flip and twist it and test the movements in my hands. Everything feels so fluid and perfect for me as I use it.
"Wow Shuri, thank you so much," I say happily and hug her tight. "I can't wait to try it all out," I pick up the axes and give them a few good swings, testing out their weight and balance. They feel so good in my hands, perfectly made just for me.
"Oh no, not for awhile, patience is a virtue, doll."
I pout playfully but hug him then hug Shuri again.
"You are welcome in Wakanda anytime, but please do not bring Hydra here," she warns.
"We won't," Bucky says and shakes her hand. "Thank you again Shuri, you're always amazing."
"I know, now get out of my kingdom," she teases and walks off back to her duties. We are escorted back the landing pad to our jet and we get strapped and ready to go. Bucky looks me over curiously as he gets me strapped in, almost like he is trying to figure something out. I smile at him happily and hold his hand as we get comfortable for the flight.