Caught in Storms

Forgetting Something

-Bucky-
I find myself so excited for this camping trip that I had packed all the gear early and made sure that everything was ready about a week before the trip.
Emma seems to be really excited too, and I think she is definitely looking forward to being away from the compound and the stress of the Hydra missions.
"She seems to be doing much better," Sam says as he and I, Thor, Scott, and Clint watch Emma and Hope talking outside.
I take a sip of my beer, "she is. She has been really beating herself up over this serum business. She keeps asking or thinking I'm angry at her, but I keep trying to reassure her I'm not. She's been having some stress attacks too, I know she was feeling some pains in her abdomen earlier this week, so she is going to have Bruce check her out to make sure she's okay. She was hurting really bad a few nights in a row and I think she just might have eaten that bad Tai that Scott ordered."
"Hey I didn't know they hadn't passed their last health inspection, lay off," Scott says and sips his beer.
"She's doing better though, she just has these moments of insecurity where if she makes one wrong move that the world is falling apart. I don't think she really realizes she is doing it though and that I'm not angry."
"Are you angry with her at all? Like with all the Hydra and serum stuff we found out," Scott asks.
"Of course not, I'm angry at the situation surrounding everything. Emma was just a kid when she was dragged into all this. I just wish that Project Insight never existed and she would have been kept safe."
"She's a strong kid, she will be okay. All of us know what she is capable of, and I don't think she's got a bad bone in her body," Clint says.
"She is a mighty warrior, whatever mental concerns she is battling, she will win. And with you by her side, Barnes and Wilson, she will truly conquer all," Thor says and we all laugh at that.
"True you are, Thor, too true," I say as I see Emma turn to face us and wave with a soft smile on her lips. I smile back at her and feel safe and at home as us guys talk and go over the camping trip gear and a special surprise for Emma.
Us guys at the compound have all been planning this special trip for awhile, and we wanted to make sure that Emma and I both would be able to enjoy ourselves while finding healing from the stress going on. The guys help me get some last minute details smoothed out just as Emma and Hope come back inside. She comes in and stands behind me, running her hands softly over my shoulders and chest as she leans over me.
"What you boys gossiping about," she asks and kisses my cheek.
"We don't gossip," Thor says sternly, making Emma giggle softly and she pats his shoulder.
"I hate to break it to you Thor, but men can gossip more than most women. Buck I'm going to go see Bruce now, I'll be back down in a little while," she says and goes to leave the room again, me noticing her sway her hips a little as she looks back at me. My face heats up and I rub my face as I watch her leave.
"This trip needs to get here already or I'm not gonna last," I say to myself softly.
"Has she figured out anything about what you've got planned," Scott asks curious, he's in the middle of unwrapping a taco when Hope comes by and snags it from him before he can take a bite. The pure look of devastation on his face makes me chuckle to myself.
"I sure as hell hope not. I want this trip to be special for her, healing," I say trailing off into thought.
"It will be Buck, just remember that this is for you just as much as it is for her. You both have kind of been taking things head on without some time to process anything, so I think doing it together will be good for the two of you," Sam reminds me as he pats me on the shoulder. I smile and nod and we finish up with the final touches on the trip.
After making sure that I have everything we need packed up in the truck, I make my way back inside and see Emma coming down from the lab. She looks like her head is spinning as she makes her way down the stairs from the second level of the compound. She doesn't even realize I'm there until I speak up to her and she reaches the ground floor.
"Hey, you doin' okay? What did Bruce say?"
"Yeah Bucky, umm...can we talk about that pain I've been having lately?"
I feel my chest tighten and I feel super anxious at that, but I take her hand and squeeze it.
"Of course, doll," I say and lead her back to our room. She starts to pace as I shut the door, looking like she's still in some pain. What could Bruce have told her that would have her so upset?
"Okay, what's wrong doll...? Is it something with your headaches? The serum?"
"Yes and no, partly I guess. It's not a super bad thing but it wasn't fun to go through."
"Alright doll I'm listening," I say and kneel in front of her as she sits in the edge of the bed.
"When I enlisted in the army, I made a decision to have a special type of birth control done so that I would not have to worry about a period while on missions and things like that. It would be a serious pain in the ass to have to deal with tampons while I'm trying to focus on a target. This little device gets inserted into my uterus and is supposed to stay there to make sure I don't get pregnant and it suppresses the normal period occurrence like bleeding and stuff. Well the pain I was feeling this week was my body and little device trying to tell me it was broken."
"Oh shit are you okay? How did that happen?"
"I'm not sure but Bruce thinks it might have happened during a mission, possibly the one where a tree kicked by ass and I landed on my ass and back into the world's hardest bush. It happens to women once in a great while, but because of the serum, I was able to heal pretty quickly from the device detaching, but the pieces were moving around and snagging things inside me. Bruce wanted to help me get the broken pieces out. Which was really awkward and he ended up having Cassie do it instead. I'm on the pill now, but I just wanted to make sure you knew what was happening with me."
I hug her tight and kiss her, "I'm sorry you were in pain Emma. Are you in anymore pain? Did you get all the pieces out?"
"Not much, yes, and I'm cleared for all activities, it just wasn't known until the pain happened, because the serum was keeping me from being doubled over from the normal amounts of pain a girl would feel from that breaking."
I breathe a sigh of relief and hold her tight, just glad that she's doing okay. I try to distract her by telling her about the trip some more and except for some surprises I have lined up, I give her some ideas of what we can do during the trip. Emma listens intently as she gets ready for bed, loving everything I have planned for us and our getaway.
I notice her packing some books and quiet things to do that will help keep her mind busy during the trip. She's really good at crocheting, like amazingly good. It reminds me of my mom, with me, my dad, and Becca sitting around her as we listened to the radio on rainy days. She's been working on this blanket lately that is this really nice navy blue and silver yarn. I think it's for me because she keeps asking if I like how it's coming along.
I finally am snapped out of my thoughts by Emma asking me a question.
"Have you ever thought about building yourself a house out there? A cozy little home that you can go to when you need to have some time to yourself," Emma asks as she climbs into bed with me. Honestly no I hadn't, but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. I'm out there a lot already and it would be nice to have a little home out there.
"I hadn't before but maybe you're right. Especially if things go the way that I hope they will between us."
"What do you mean," Emma asks, looking up at me as she plays with my dog tags on my chest.
"I mean that you've given me new things to hope for. You're the first and only girl that has ever really made me feel like I deserve to have anything like a family and a partner, someone that will love me despite my past and believes in me. You make me have hopes and dreams for a family some day."
"I love you so much Bucky, thank you for giving me a chance," Emma giggles softly.
"I love you Emma, thank you for giving this semi-stable 107-year-old man a chance," I laugh softly and kiss her forehead as we settle in and fall asleep, ready for our getaway to begin.