Caught in Storms

James

-Bucky-
Emma looks like she could literally give birth any day now, and I am terrified. Especially with not knowing how her body will react with the serum and childbirth, Emma and I both have been feeling anxious about what will happen. We try to be careful and keep her off her feet as much as possible so that we do not accidentally induce labor.
The month of January is hard on me, and it would have been worse if I hadn't had Emma with me. The nightmares of the train incident are as visceral as always, but Emma is able to help me work through them better than I could have alone. Through every breakdown I have Emma is patient and kind and gentle, giving me space when I need it, and comfort when I can't be by myself.
After getting some last minute things done with the nursery, I go into our room and find Emma sitting on the bed holding her back.
"Hey, what's going on?"
"James is starting to sit sort of low and it's killing my back," Emma says on the verge of frustrated tears. I kiss her forehead and climb behind her, starting to rub and massage her back slowly. Emma moans softly and her eyes close as I rub lower. I feel a slight knot in her back and I start to work it out gently, feeling her start to relax.
"Thank you Bucky, that really helped," she says quietly. I hug her tight and rub her belly.
"Of course, Emma. I'm sorry for how up and down I've been this month."
"It's ok Buck, I understand why. Do you want to talk about it," she asks as we sit back against the headboard. I place a pillow behind her so she is not uncomfortable. I sit next to her and hold her hand, playing with her engagement ring as I talk.
"It was so fucking cold. I still remember that feeling of air freezing in my lungs and my arm just shattered. If it weren't for the serum being injected...I wouldn't be here today and I am so grateful in a lot of ways. Sometimes I am bitter of that because of the pain that I've caused others but...I don't feel that way as much anymore."
"Why not?"
"You and Sam, James and our huge family here," I smile softly. "You all have been great support and understanding of my ups and downs and have helped me work them out as the years go by. I just really wish sometimes that Steve were here. He would have loved to meet you."
Emma smiles and kisses my cheek softly and rests her head on my shoulder, letting me just hold her hand as we relax and talk well into the night.
The next day, Emma has her final appointment before the baby comes. The doctor explains that she really is going to be ready any day, and to make sure to take it easy. Bed rest and as little movement as possible is going to be important because of how close we are. We are all pretty sure that the serum is contributing to how fast James has grown during pregnancy.
"Because of how ready you are and only in 7 months, I want to keep the baby there as long as we can to make sure he's healthy, so I don't want you guys doing anything to try to induce labor," Dr. Nathan says.
"No we won't," I say and help Emma up from the table and get her home. Emma is exhausted and I know she is aching from how low James is sitting now. I wish I could take it from her to relieve her poor back.
I tell Clint about my concerns and he has Laura FaceTime me to show me what I can do to help. I thank her and run upstairs to find Emma to show her what I learned. She is trying to go from the bed to the couch and she smiles when I walk in.
"Hi handsome, where's the fire?"
I come up behind Emma and I interlock my fingers under her belly and lift ever so gently and she gasps. She immediately looks relieved and holds onto me as we walk over to the couch.
"Thank you Bucky, that was...awesome. How'd you learn how to do that," she giggles and kisses me.
"That would be Laura to the rescue," I chuckle as I sit down with her and relax and watch movies. We literally do nothing for the next few days, just getting excited to have our boy here soon.

I wake up from a dead sleep hearing screaming. I shoot up and look around, Emma is nowhere in the room. I throw open the door and look out into the common area and see Emma in the kitchen on the floor. She lets out a scream in pain and is sobbing. I jump off the landing and rush to her, seeing a pool of blood under and around her.
"Oh god Emma, what happened?"
"I was...just getting...water," she cries between breaths as Clint, Hope, and Scott run out, Sam hot on their heels. I stop panicking and get into focus, trying to remember what the doctor told me if something happened.
"Someone call 911 now," I yell and Hope runs to get her phone. I look down at Emma and gulp down hard as I explain to her what I have to do in front of everyone. I kneel in front of her between her legs and check her, and there is no waiting, James is coming now.
Emma screams again and passes out briefly, her head being caught by Clint. Scott is checking the security cameras and what Emma said is true, that this just started out of nowhere as she was getting a glass of water.
Emma wakes up as another contraction hits. There is no way that we will get to the hospital in time even though Hope got 911 called and they are on their way.
"Emma we are going to have to deliver James now, baby," I say holding her leg and hand.
"No, no, no, it hurts so bad," she says in tears, scared and in pain that I can't help make any better for her.
"I know baby, I'm sorry. You're doing so good," I try to reassure her.
Clint is helping her through her breathing as another pain shoots through her. Just then, the paramedics come in and get to work.
"Whoa he really didn't want to wait much longer huh," one of the women EMTs says and gets Emma hooked up to a monitor. The others do what they need to do and the woman that is kneeling in front of Emma looks at me.
"Are you dad?"
"Yeah I am," I say, not realizing that I've been crying this whole time.
"Okay I'm going to need you to focus, sir. We have to have her start pushing, then get her into the ambulance right away as soon as the baby is delivered. Are you ready?"
I nod terrified and Clint gets ready too.
"Okay mommy, I need you to start pushing," the paramedic says.
Emma screams out loudly as she starts to push, breathing heavily and clutching mine and Clint's hands so tight that we might lose fingers.
"And there's the head, we need another really big push so we can get the shoulders mommy."
"Bucky I can't do this, please make it stop hurting," Emma begs as she breathes heavily and my heart breaks.
"We are almost there doll, I promise. You can do this Emma," I say and kiss her forehead.
Emma starts to push again, screaming in pain as she pushes one last time, and we hear crying and the paramedic holds up James and cleans him up before setting him on Emma's chest.
"Okay Dad remember what I said," she says and Clint and I help get Emma on a board and onto a gurney in the ambulance. Emma is clinging onto James for dear life as I hop into the ambulance with her.
"We will follow behind," Clint hollers as the doors shut and we are off to the hospital. I hold Emma's hand tight the whole way, the two of us just staring at James.
"He looks just like you," Emma says weakly, making me worry, but she has the sweetest smile on her face as she stares at our son.
"You have two of us now, how does that feel," I say trying to smile and keep her happy.
"I'm so tired Buck."
"I know doll, we are almost there and they will check you two out and then you can rest, I promise," I say as I kiss her forehead. When I lean back up, I notice her eyes flutter shut and the EMTs start to move around her.
"Dad I'm going to need you to take baby, okay?"
"What," I ask as I am handed James and Emma starts to crash. The monitor she is attached to starts to go off and the paramedics start trying to wake her up, one getting her moved for CPR and another getting prepared for an oxygen mask.
"Emma!! No, no, no baby come on you have to fight," I yell as I am pushed back by another paramedic. They start working CPR, one of the women climbs over Emma and starts chest compressions as the ambulance doors are pushed open and the gurney moved inside the hospital. I try to go after her when a nurse comes over and takes me to the maternity wing.
"Sir, she is going to be okay, but right now I need to examine the baby to make sure he's healthy," she says and reaches for him. I move my arms, terrified of letting him out of my sight now that I don't know what's going on with Emma.
"Sir, I need you to trust me. You can wait right here and I will come out to let you know what's happening with the baby."
I nod shaking and hand James over to her carefully, starting to panic.
"Where's Emma?"
"They are taking care of her sir, I promise," she says and leaves with James. I feel myself starting to unravel as I am left alone in the maternity waiting room. I try to sit down and focus my breathing but all I can think about is Emma not waking up and my son by himself. Scott, Clint, Hope, and Sam walk into the waiting room frantically and see me there sobbing. They have Emma's hospital bag with them and another bag too.
"Bucky what happened," Hope asks rubbing my back as she sets down Emma's bag that we left behind.
"Emma crashed in the ambulance as we pulled up, they won't tell me what's going on and a nursery nurse has the baby," I say shaking. Sam goes up to the desk and is demanding to know what is going on with Emma, using our namesakes to get their attention and answers.
"If I have to call Stark back from the dead to get your fucking help, I will."
The nurse hurries off and is gone for a little while. About two of the longest hours go by and Dr. Nathan walks into the waiting area that we are all in.
"Sgt. Barnes."
I stand up and greet her. I suddenly realize I'm only in boxers and a t-shirt as I stand there.
"Emma is doing just fine now, and so is the baby."
"What happened? She was fine one moment and...gone the next."
"She had what's called a placental abruption, where the placenta needed for the baby detaches from the uterine wall. That's why she gave birth to the baby so quickly and lost so much blood, most likely that serum was trying to help heal what was going on inside her womb."
"Is she going to be okay," I ask shaking.
"She's doing great now, just very tired and will be needing a lot of help in the next 6 weeks."
I nod and get so overwhelmed that I hug Dr. Nathan, surprising myself and her, "thank you so much for saving her."
She chuckles and pats my back, "congratulations, Sgt. Barnes. You can see her and the baby whenever you'd like, she just won't be awake for awhile," she says and leaves the room. I breathe a sigh of relief and go to the room that they took Emma to for recovery.
I go in and set down Emma's bag and see James nestled in a bassinet next to the bed, and Emma still asleep and hooked up to a monitor. She's alive, James is healthy, they are great. James is nestled and swaddled in a bright blue blanket, a little beanie with a red star on it.
I look at my phone and take a picture of this moment to save for myself and realize the date: January 27th. We are still in January, and my son has been born. There's a reason for me not to hate January and he's mine.
I pick James up carefully and carry him over to Emma's bed, climbing in next to her and holding her, falling asleep harder than I ever had in my life.