Caught in Storms

Always Winter

-Emma-
I forgot how much I hate hospitals. The sounds, the smells, the harshness of the lights and the stark white walls. And then there's Bucky.
He sticks to me like glue for the rest of the week that I'm here, anytime I need to pee, shower, walk around, anything. Sam is no better, since whenever Bucky needs to leave to do something, he takes his place. My irritation of it is starting to boil over but I try to keep my cool, remembering what they went through too. I just can't stop thinking about getting home and seeing James again.
The FaceTime recording Bucky took was so adorable, and I feel so guilty missing seeing him crawl for the first time and start really talking, well, a little bit.
Despite the serum, he seems to be growing at a normal rate, just a little bit more rapidly than most babies. Pepper calls and let's us FaceTime with him again while she's feeding him a jar of baby food.
"How has he been for you guys? Not too much of a handful I hope," I ask.
"No not at all! He's such a fun little boy, Morgan loves playing with him and showing him how to crawl. Most nights he falls asleep in Cassie's lap then we have to put him to bed."
"I'm so glad. Pepper you have no idea how thankful we are that you've been willing to help us with him," I say and look at Bucky, who can't seem to take his eyes off the screen as James sits and makes a mess in his high chair.
"It's no hassle at all. I love you two and James and just want to make sure you guys are getting done what you need to. When do you think you'll be home?"
"We leave here tonight on the jet, they cleared Emma to leave. We should be by to get James when you guys are up the next day," Bucky says.
"Okay no problem, take as much time as you guys need!!"
"Thank you Pepper, bye James! Mommy and daddy love you!!"
James babbles cutely and happily, giving a cute little wave before the call ends. I start to bawl immediately and drop Bucky's phone in my lap.
"What's the matter doll?"
"I just realized I won't be able to hold him until after I get my stitches out," I cry and feel broken. Bucky hugs me tight and tries to calm me down, but nothing is working.
"We will find a way for you to hold him. He's a smart kid, we can try to explain that mommy is hurt and he will have to be gentle," he says and kisses my forehead gently. I nod softly and start to get up out of the bed, needing to get ready to go.
Sam went out and got me some clothes, a pair of workout leggings, a new bra and panties and a T-shirt, and my boots were fine to wear back home. I brush out my hair and try to help myself feel normal again as I get ready to leave. I catch Bucky staring at me as I finish up and brush my teeth.
"You okay Buck?"
"I love you."
"I love you, what's going on in there," I ask as I come out of the bathroom and pack my bag. Bucky sits on the edge of the bed next to my bag and looks at me.
"I'm sorry for how clingy and nuts I've been. Since we were captured I've been...really struggling," he says and looks down at his shoes.
"Do you want to talk about it," I ask and stand between his legs, running my fingers through his short hair, I miss the fluffy curls and beard.
"We were so ready to accept death when we went in the water...I didn't know we were going to be pulled out of that car. But I'm glad we were, it just was hard seeing you go through getting that serum pushed into you, seeing what Steve did to you when you got back to the cell. Then having to put you through going on the run. I never imagined any of this for you."
"I know you didn't Bucky, but we promised each other to stick together no matter what, through the easy days and the hardest fights," I say and kiss him softly.
"I know we did Emma, I just can't lose you..."
"You won't, Bucky you're stuck with me. And to be completely honest...I wouldn't change anything that we have dealt with since Sam called me."
"Why?"
"Well let's see, I got reunited with my brother from another mother, met the love of my life, had my first superhero missions, discovered more about my past, learned how cool I am, learned how awesome our family is, had a son with the love of my life, cheated death, became even cooler, and now we are here. Bucky I told you, I love my life. Yes it has moved fast since we met and there has been a lot of craziness, but that's everyone's lives. It's always one thing after another with the little and big things that matter in between. That's one reason why I'm not ready to leave this life," I say softly and look at him, watching his face as he takes in every word I say. He's lost in thought as he stares at me softly.
"You have helped me work through some scary things. In a short amount of time you have reduced my anxiety and panic from my past and helped me feel much more confident in my abilities. And now that I'm like you, we are going to be unstoppable, and I don't know about you but I look forward to getting back in action with you and our family with us."
Bucky smiles softly and wraps me in a hug, making me feel safe and loved and heard.
"How'd you get to be so amazing?"
"I had some help from someone even more amazing," I say and kiss him slowly, letting my tongue dance over his bottom lip. Bucky chuckles and nips it gently.
"We can't play until you're healed," he chuckles softly.
"The doctor didn't say I couldn't make out with my husband. And I think I'm going to need you to teach me Romanian."
"Oh yeah? Why's that?"
"I like when you speak it, it sounds sexy coming from you," I say and kiss him again. Bucky smirks and bites my lip.
"Mai bine te porți, păpușă," he says slowly before he takes my bottom lip with his teeth gently.
"What does that mean," I ask blushing as he kisses me.
"You better behave, doll," he smiles softly and kisses me deeper, when the door comes open to reveal Sam, Scott and hope standing there with food for us.
"Aw come on guys, get a room," Sam says disgusted.
"We had one till you guys came in," Bucky grumbles as he helps me finish packing. I giggle softly so I don't hurt my stitches and we get done and start to eat. I don't know what the food is that they got, but it tastes amazing compared to hospital cafeteria food and I eat it up like I'm starving. The four of them watch me confused.
"What...? Bucky and I haven't had anything proper to eat since we took off from the compound," I say and flip them off as I continue to eat hungrily. When we are done, the doctor comes in to do a final check on me and clears me to leave.
"Please remember no heavy lifting, no hard exercises, no running, and no sexual activity for a few weeks. I know serum help you heal faster but with where wound is, must be extra careful," he says and Bucky and I nod and thank him for all his help. They help me gather my things and lead me out to where the jet is sitting on the helipad. The rest of the team is waiting for us happily and greets us as we get ready to go home.
Bucky gets me strapped into my seat and sit with me, his hand in my thigh as he normally does.
"Hey Bucky, Bucharest local police wanted to give you this back," Clint says and hands him a plastic evidence bag with his knife in it. Bucky looks at it and flinches, looking sick to his stomach.
"I don't think I want this anymore," he says softly.
"I think I'll keep it then," I say and offer my hand out for it.
"What, why?"
"That thing saved my life, and yours and James. And our family," I smile softly as I take the bag from him and pull it out. I take it in my hand and use my torn up shirt from the attack to clean it off. I lift my right leg and slip the knife into my boot right where it belongs. Bucky looks at me confused and amazed at the same time and I just kiss him softly as Clint and Sam get the jet in the air.