Tattered Souls

Chapter 4: Its Not You, Its Me

Ashley

When I wake up from our nap, we are in a different position.

Sam is now leaned up against the arm of the couch while my head rests on her chest.

Her big strong arms are wrapped lazily around my waist and the smell of her cologne mixed with her natural scent instantly relaxes me.

I'm a bit confused because I know we fell asleep in the opposite position, but she must've woken up and switched us at some point.

I must have been pretty tired myself if I didn't even wake up.

I did just work a twelve hour shift before coming home.

My throat feels a little dry from the cold so I start to get up to adjust the heat and get some water when I feel her grip tighten around me.

"No, don't go."

I giggle a little and kiss her cheek, bringing a sleepy smile out of her.

"I gotta get ready for work silly."

She peeks an eye open and frowns at me.

"But I want more cuddles."

I shake my head and push my body up so that my face hangs over hers.

"And I want to laze around a fancy house all day instead of working my ass off so..."

I lay my forehead against hers and release a contented sigh when I feel her hands trail up and down my curves.

"Unless you plan on marrying me and making me a housewife, I suggest you let me get up."

Her face instantly turns red and she lets go of me to hold her hands up.

"Wow wow slow down there! I love you ash but I'm not looking for anything serious right now."

I let out a chuckle and kiss her nose before sitting up on her lap.

"Oh well, can't say I didn't try."

I know she was just being silly, but the fact that we'll never be more than this still stings sometimes.

I start to move off of her when I feel her encircle me again with her warm embrace.

"Hey. It's not you love,I promise. Anyone would be lucky to have you ash it's just, I like how we are now.I don't want to try to push something that might tear us apart."

I nod my head, facing away from her as her words stab into my heart.

Tears threaten to escape as I feel her try to pull me closer.

"Ash don't-"

I cut her off trying my best not to let her hear the emotion in my voice.

"It's fine. I understand."

I force a smile her way and playfully pinch her cheek.

"Im too good for you, I get it."

I get off of her and make my way to the kitchen with her hot on my tail.

"Alright alright I didn't say all of that. Now you're getting ahead of yourself for real."

I laugh at her little attitude as I pack my lunch for my next shift.

I told the other bartender that I would come in early to help with the rush since were on winter break and we slept for so long that its about that time already.

I offer to drive Sam home, but she says she wants to stay and clean up some before heading out even though I told her it was fine.

"How many times do I have to tell you that you are a GUEST. You don't have to clean up my messes."