Tattered Souls

Chapter 23: The Truth?

Sam

I can't believe she just said that.

The girl that I've had a crush on for years just told me that she's in love with me.

Normally, someone would be overjoyed to hear this news but I'm not sure how to feel.

She's giving me all of these mixed signals.

Telling me she loves me one day and to stay away from her the next.

I know she's stressed out but my heart honestly can't take her changing her mind again.

She looks up at my lips and leans in to kiss me but I gently place my hands on her shoulders to stop her.

"Paige wait. You don't want to do this..."

She tilts her head at me.

"What do you mean? I just told you how I feel."

She tries to rub her thumb across my cheek and I take her hand in mine. I place a soft kiss on her palm and sigh.

"You can't do this to me Paige."

Her face looks hurt but I pull her a bit closer so she doesn't run away.

"I love you too doll. More than you understand. I just don't want you to regret this in the morning."

A tear escapes her eye as she raises herself up over me with her arms and straddles me with her lower half.

"But I mean it sam. I want you,I swear I do."

I bite my lip feeling my heart weigh from hearing the crack in her voice.

I want to believe her I honestly do but I'm afraid.

Suddenly her phone rings but she doesn't reach for it.

I can tell from the caller id that it's Jason.

"You should probably answer that. He might w- "

"I don't care!"

My eyes get big at her outburst.

" I don't care about anything right now except for you."

She lays her head on my chest and holds on to me as if her life depends on it.

"All I ever want is to be near you. To feel you and to hear your voice. I dream about you at night. Even though the house is mine and Jasons every little thing reminds me of you. The controller, the deck, the broken chair in the living room that we still use for some reason, hell even cooking reminds me of you since you always love to tease me when I do."

I gently stroke her back, listening to every word.

She looks up into my eyes.

"I know I hurt you sam."

Her hand gently cups my face and the warmth feels so nice that I lean into it as she speaks.

"Im so sorry about that love. I never should have put you in this position but I love you so much, I couldn't stop myself.I need you near me, to just touch me. It's like my world is so cold when you aren't there."

Her voice began to crack as she eases closer to me.

"Please don't push me away."

She leans in for a kiss and I meet her halfway.

Our tongues dance as we pour every ounce of love we have into one another.

I hold her close, afraid that if we part, the spell would break and she'd change her mind again.

I believe her words, but the fear is still there.

After a while,we have to pull apart to catch our breaths.

When our eyes meet neither of us speak.

Its as if we were both trying to stop time so that this moment would never cease.

The outside world didn't exist,Only us.

That is, until her phone began to ring again.

She sighs and reaches over to her phone.

Before she answers, she kisses me on the cheek and eases off of me.

I instantly felt a cold pain in my chest the moment she was away but I had to let her go handle things.

"Hey what's up?"

She says into the phone as I sit up and watch her stand in the middle of the room talking.

I sigh and cover my face with my hands.

What on earth is this girl doing to me?

As she's talking, I look over and can't help but admire the way she looks when she's all dressed up for work.

She's wearing a white blouse with a black pencil skirt in heels and she's giving off  This powerful energy that's just so sexy to me.

She's such a beautiful woman and I can't believe I lost sight of that for all of these years.

Yes I knew she was attractive but I always saw her as like this annoying girl that whined all the time.

She was my first college crush for a reason but I didn't want to ruin our friendship because of my feelings.

Now that I know she feels the same, I don't know if I can hide them anymore.

I start to go over to her when I hear her laughing on the phone.

"You're so silly. I'll be home in like 15 mins and then we can talk about it okay?"

She leans up against my desk and I sigh.

Oh yeah. I forgot...

She's still with Jason.

Yes the feelings are there, I know that this connect between us is real, but at any moment she can decide to forget everything and go back to how things were before.

The only person that would be hurt, would be me.

I sigh and stand up fixing my clothes.

I'm wearing a white dress shirt with black pants and a gray vest and tie since I had a few meetings today between classes.

I don't usually dress this nice but when I do, I try to look presentable atleast.

I don't want to disturb her so I give a slight wave and make my way to the door.

As I grab the handle, I feel a tug on my sleeve and sigh.

I look back at her and she has a concerned look on her face.

"Where are you going?" She whispers letting go of my hand so she can cover the mic on the phone.

I smile a little and gently rub my thumb across her cheek.

I can't help but smile whenever I look at her now.

In my eyes,she's the most beautiful thing on earth.

Absolutely perfect I'm every way.

I start to say something when, "hello? baby are you there?"

I notice the ends of her lips curl up a bit from his words and I feel as if someone is squeezing my heart.

"Yes, I'm here."

She says smiling into the phone.

I drop my hand from her face and She turns her attention back to me as he continues talking but I simply kiss her cheek and step out the door.

I do my best not to look back.

Not only to avoid her gaze, but also so she doesn't see the tears forming in my eyes.