Your Safe With Me

52

Rachel frowned as she watched Santana and Brittany from across the hall. Watching the two reminded her of her relationship with Lucy she missed her girlfriend. Sure she had a version of Lucy but she didn't even have her best friend Lucy she had a different Lucy. This Lucy was scared of sharp objects she was scared of taking medicine and worst of all she refused to step foot in her bedroom she'd  only sleep in the guest room or the living room they'd even found her sleeping outside her daddy's bedroom door. Rachel wanted to be able to hug and kiss her and be silly with her but she couldn't because the girl didn't seem to trust herself. That concerned her more than anything considering she'd trusted herself before now she didn't even trust herself to fix her own food.

The brunette sighed pushing herself off her locker and down to corridor to leave she'd decided she was skipping glee club today she wasn't sure she wanted to go in fact she'd rather be at home helping her hazel eyed beauty. Not wanting to wait any longer she grabbed her keys and ran outside to her car jumping inside and throwing her bag in the passengers seat as she  driving away. On the way she stopped and picked each of them up a coffee and pastry from the local coffee shop she'd gotten Lucy's favorite in hopes of making her feel comfortable and getting her to open up and talk.

Juggling the pastry's, coffees, keys and school bag Rachel opened the front door the only sound in the house to be heard was soft music. Quietly the brown eyed girl set her school bag down and walked upstairs finding the red head in the art room painting. She could tell tell the girl had been there for hours her hair was all over the place and she was covered in paint even had it on her glasses. "How long ya been sitting there Luce ?" Rachel asked smiling when the girl jumped "Rach what are you doing here ? Shouldn't you be at school ?" Lucy asked furrowing her brows "Schools ended already so that just tells me you've been here for a long time so why don't you join me downstairs I brought a surprise" the brunette said smiling at the girl "Surprise ? But I don't like surprises" Lucy said with a frown "You'll like this one come on I wanna spend some time with you...like we used to" Rachel told her. Lucy nodded and followed the girl downstairs and into the kitchen "Oh you bought thanks ou and a pastry" the red head said smiling softly.

Rachel watched the girl for a moment "Do you ever feel like your drowning ?" Lucy asked her as she sat her coffee down "What do you mean ? Describe it to me" the brunette said hoping to get something out of the girl and hear what she's been feeling "Like...like whatever you do...no matter how hard you try...you never reach the surface because there's still something there that's pulling you back...and it pulls you further and further under...until...until you lose yourself as well to a point where you don't recognize yourself because everything is so dark...and your trapped and you keep trying...and trying to find your way back...but you can't nothing works...and you don't know how to fix it" Lucy explained her eyes meeting Rachel's "Is that how you feel ? Like you're drowning ?" she asked her calmly.

Lucy looked at the girl "Yea...I didn't realize it before...but I've felt this way for so long....and I-...I try so so hard...so hard Rachel" the girl said as she began crying "I keep trying and trying and nothing is working...I don't feel comfortable...I-...I don't feel safe and secure...I don't feel loved and cared for...I don't-...I can't-..." Lucy tried to say as she chocked back a sob "Sweetie...Lucy hunny listen to me...you are loved...you're so loved...daddy loves you so so much...he could do anything for you to make sure you were safe and happy...he would stop whatever he was doing and be right there whenever you needed him..." Rachel said looking at the girl "I love you...I love you with all my heart...I wouldn't dare have you here if I knew you weren't safe...I want whatever is best for you Lucy Q...I'm not gonna push you...I want you to get better...but at your own pace...not at Santana's pace....not at Frannie's pace....not at your therapist's pace....at your pace Lucy...no matter how long it takes....I will be here for you every single step of the way...I know it's our senior year and it's supposed to be exciting....but you know as well as I know that, that isn't always the case...I'm here to help you whenever you're ready okay ?" Rachel said moving to wipe the girls tears.