Guilty Conscience

Welcome to Your Never Ending Black Parade

I forced myself to get up for school. As much as I wanted to stay home, I knew I couldn't. I tried my hardest to not miss school, but I was just too tired today. My hair was messed up and my eyes had bags underneath them.

"You ready to go, Frank?"

"Yeah, let me just lock the house."

After I made sure the door was locked, I headed over to Gerard's car so he could take me to school.

I got in, and buckled myself up. Then, I looked out the window, and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep.

I could faintly hear the radio playing in the back, but wasn't too keen on understanding what was playing.

"Frank? Baby, we're here."

I groaned.

He put his hands on me gently, rubbing my arms to try and get me awake.

"I don't wanna."

"I know, but come on, we'll be late if we don't get out now."

"Fine..." I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened my door, stepping out into the annoying sunlight.

He held my hand, which earned us some pretty weird looks. A lot of people didn't acknowledge I existed, but when Gerard was seen with me, I was like the villain of the story. Everyone looked at me like I had some sort of ugly disease.

I could hear them whispering things like "Who is Gerard with?" or "Gerard deserves someone better looking."

They watched us as we entered the door, too. Then, we were approached by Ray and James.

"Gerard? The hell?"

"What now you guys?"

"Well, we're kinda just wondering why you're with him of all people."

I decided to join the conversation, "Because he has the human decency to actually date someone instead of trying to get every girl at school pregnant."

Gerard stifled a laugh, and James and Ray looked like they were about to beat me.

To be honest, I don't know why I spoke up. I didn't want to seem weak, even though I am.

I tugged on my sleeves, and Gerard noticed, so he pulled me away from them. I know they were still watching us, specifically me, because I could feel my skin on my back crawling.

"I gotta go now, I'll see you later, ok?"

"Yeah, alright."

He walked off in one direction, and I walked off into another. I went through the first couple periods, then went into Mrs. Lenia's class.

Since we sat towards the back, I decided I wanted to go to sleep.

I know, I had been sleeping a lot. To be honest, I head a headache, and the only way I could get it to stop throbbing so much was by closing my eyes and napping.

"Frank?" Gerard whispered.

"Yes?"

"Are you ok?"

"Mhm, just tired."

"Here." He moved his arm towards me to let me rest on, then used his other hand to run through my hair. His touch gave me chills, and helped me relax a lot more.

Gerard's POV

Frank seemed a lot more tired lately. I was worried if he was eating enough or even sleeping at night.

I looked over at him, and, damn, did he look done with life. His eyes were baggy and slightly purple, his lips cracked and obviously picked at.

He was broken, sure, but this was a step farther. He just looked like he was going to disappear into an abyss and I wouldn't ever be able to reach far enough to rescue him.

Back to Frank

Gerard rubbing my head and playing with my hair felt really nice, but then the class ended, and I had to get up.

"Do you want something to eat?"

"No."

"I'm worried, you barely eat."

"No, I ate breakfast and it filled me, I promise I'm fine."

"Whatever, liar."

"Gerard?"

"Yes?"

"Why do you always ask me if I ate?"

"Because I get worried..." He paused. "You look even worse today. Like-like you're gonna do something."

He was partially right. I didn't plan to spend too much time on Earth. I wanted to die, that was a known fact, but when, was the question.

I smiled as best I could.

"I'm ok."

"Please, just have some toast."

"Gerard-"

"No, Frank, you look so skinny. It isn't healthy. You're going to disappear and I won't be able to help you once you do."

"Are you trying to fix me?"

"No, I just want what's best for you."

"I'm too tired to deal with you. Just, let me sleep, please."

"Fine."

*After School*

"You wanna come over after school? I have homework, but it seems like you need some sleep in a comfortable bed. I'll even get you some water and cuddle with you later."

"Cuddles?"

"Yes, a form of affection. Oh no, god forbid Frank Iero, the loner, receives affection from his boyfriend."

"Shut up. I will gladly walk home and refuse your touch. And it sounds like you want to touch me more than I want to be touched."

"...That's because I like physical touch. Just something normal. I want to be normal.."

I heard that last part, but I decided not to comment on it.

We got home, and I immediately crashed in his room.

He laughed, but I didn't even care. The wave of exhaustion overwhelmed me.

"Go ahead and sleep, I'll be here if you need me."

"Mhm." I was already drifting off to sleep, but before I completely faded, I felt a soft touch to my forehead.

It was him, kissing me. I instantly smiled, falling into a sleep that wasn't all too bad.

I woke up confused, feeling a sense of emptiness surround me. I looked around and noticed that Gerard was not in the room with me and his room door was left open.

"Gerard?" I called out, very loudly.

His head appeared in the room, cocking it to the side.

"Yes?"

"Sorry, you weren't in the room so I thought you left."

Gerard chuckled.

"I'm not ever leaving you."