Bellissimo

CHAPTER 32

I can't help but wonder how it'd feel to have a father, or a mother. How it'd feel to live a simple black and white life, all while mixing in the background. No peculiarity, no power and no pain.

Oh, but life isn't that easy, mine isn't. Sweeping the baby hairs off my forehead, I scrub the counter infront of me harder. The bells of the small bakery rings, as people bustle through the door.

I hear the voice of Melanie, the owner of Mel's Bakery around. I drop the rug in the washbox as I wipe my wet hands on my short skirt.

Maybe, im destined to be alone in this huge world, with nobody to care for me or nobody to wait for me at home. I don't even have a home anymore.

"Lynn, your shift done yet?" Melanie stands infront of me, eyeing me up and down, pity written in her honey glazed eyes.

"Yeah, I was just going. See ya," I give her a small wave, neatly folding the small apron and keeping it in my locker.

The chill weather of New York has my teeth almost clattering, it's never been this cold in LA. But I have almost gotten used to it, almost.

I walk slowly through the sidewalk, covering half my face with a beanie. My newly dyed brunette hair makes me look so aged. I've also got thinner, way thinner than I would've preferred. Struggling to get two meals a day for 4 months does that to you.

I reach my rundown apartment, shove the key through the keyhole and let out a long sigh when I get in. I hate my life.

The couple staying next door are potheads, not exaggerating. And they fuck all day, the walls are super thin in here. So besides starving, I also have to witness live pornography ASMR which is absolutely not entertaining at all, wouldn't recommend.

I throw the fake ID on the blow up mattress as I plop down on it. God, my condition makes me wanna run infront of a running truck everyday.

Why did I run? Why did I go into hiding? These questions I ask myself everyday. Id answer honestly, my new family and I weren't compilable.

I do love my brothers with all my heart, they are family. But they hate me, when I am supposed to. They killed my bestfriend,  they killed Santi. They almost disowned me. I know they are looking for me though, but probably to lock me up in a torture cell.

I know how mafia men are, but if you asked me 5 months ago, I'd have told you that Adrian is not the same. But I had seen it in his eyes that day, the flame- the anger- the wrath. Ofcourse they'd choose Adrien over a girl they know for barely a month.

But my heart hurts, longs for them everyday. But I don't want to be found, I don't want to go back. I don't want to be a mafia princess, I don't wanna rule the underworld. I just want to be an ordinary girl who mixes into the background, who nobody ever remembers.

I didn't pull the money from my bank account. Though it was enough for me to buy atleast 20 penthouses and a year worth food in NYC, but I couldn't leave any trace.

My right hand is slightly bruised, it hasn't healed completely. But who cares? Id probably, but I don't even feel like I'm living anymore.

My stomach makes weird sounds, but I keep lying down on the mattress face down. I can eat food tomorrow, not that I have any food right now.

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Sound of splattering wakes me up. I groan out when I do, looking around I see it is pitch black. God, when did the lights go off?

I sit there for a while, contemplating on getting up right now because I'm not a bit sleepy anymore, or try laying down for a while. I choose the latter, my body too tired to respond.