Bellissimo

CHAPTER 39

Seconds pass, minutes pass- probably hours pass aswell. I keep looking at his green orbs covered with little black bruises. The eyes that closed forever, infront of me.

I know I'm hallucinating, im seeing shits. I've seen shits before, heard shits before. And this makes me wanna cry.

"Oh, Santi." I breath out as a tear finally slips my eye.

He slowly walks towards me, limping. And my heart thumps louder, he's not real. Santiago is dead. The son of a Greek bitch killed him, infront of me. I saw his life slip away from himself, as he writhed in pain with a bullet in his abdomen. Or did I?

I don't let myself think anymore and throw myself at my bestfriend, dead or not.

He shakily hugs me back, holding me as tight as he can with his good arm. I bite my lip and rest my head on his chest, oh how much I missed hugging him.

Ever since I was 10, ever since I got out of the orphanage, every single event happening in my life has taught me one single lesson - nothing is impossible.

If Isabella could crawl back from her death and appear infront of me 7 years later, there's no reason for me to disbelief the fact Santi is indeed alive.

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I squeeze my thighs together when the nurse attempts to raise my left leg, im not wearing an underwear. I don't want to flash the poor lady. Apparently I twisted my left ankle, fracturing it. The good news is, it is not broken. The bad news, it is infected. And I'm not allowed to walk or even get out of bed for atleast a month.

Like I care about rules and shits.

I was so shocked when Adrian told me that he saved Santiago and kept him safe, from Alessio. I was even more surprised when he said that he was completely free, forgiven.

I know that my brothers love me, but in a twisted way. A way I don't like, or want to be loved in. The last four months were harrowing, painful for me. But I'd gladly go back to it if I need to, im not sure what I want to do anymore.

I beg to God Artemis wouldn't tell anybody else about my secrets. Not that he promised me or something, but I feel like its normal human decency. If somebody told me some fucked up shits about themselves, I definitely wouldn't go around telling people about it. But my brothers, they are different.

I haven't spoken a single word to Adrian, just a bit to Massimo and Lorenzo. Lorenzo came howling here, he cried and cried until I let him hug me, I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry a bit too.

Who knew the underboss of the Italian Mafia was so fucking soft and a crybaby like him.

I move a bit , take time to observe the 400th hospital ive been at in a span of a full year. This is so fucking funny. Because when I was with Dad and Peter, i never went to a hospital, never. Even when they beat the shit out of me, id just sit in the darkness of the basement, wait for the hurt to go away. Id wait and wait, it used to feel like years,decades even eons- but the pain did pass.

I have no idea where my phone is, I simply don't care. Im tired of everything, everybody. Caden,Amelia,Sarah and even Santiago. Im so so happy that he's not dead, but looking at him makes my head ring.

Fuck me.

Hours pass and i finally get released from the hospital. They gave me a simple floral dress to wear and a pair of soft undergarments. i've been living like a hog for 4 months. Getting to wear clothes as good as this is similar to winning a fucking lottery for me.

I got ready as fast as I could, not looking at myself in the mirror. Im so afraid, afraid of myself. Afraid of my appearance. Id rather not waste a day thinking about how bad I look.