Ruby Laswell x Ghost (Vol. 2-4) Shattered Souls/Bandaged Bruises/Sinful Souls

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As we lay in bed, we find ourselves yet again in a thick feeling of silence. Something we both found comfort in, but by now it seemed as though we should fill the thick gap of nothing with something.

"What's your favorite color, Simon?" I turn over, looking at his still masked face in the dark.

"Would you like to ask me my favorite animal too?" He asks in a joking sarcastic way.

I roll my eyes, wishing he could see me. I tuck my hand under my head, and sigh. "I feel as though I know so much yet so little about you- it confuses me. You confuse me, to brief it up."

A moment of silence interjects, then he speaks up.

"I confuse everyone for a reason,"

"And why is that?" I lean up onto my right elbow, trying to make out his eye expression in the dark.

"I'm that way for a reason- you have to be."

"You choose to. You have have to."

"I have to, in my case." He argues. I notice the gleam of his eye catch in the moonlight as he turns to look to me. "My past shaped me. It's who I am." He pauses briefly, looking into my soul as though it seemed. "Do you know why they call me Ghost?"

I shake my head slowly, biting my lip.

"It's better you don't."

I feel my chest sink. "I thought maybe you'd trust me by now."

"I do. And that's the issue. I'm not sure if I should. It can end badly."

"How?"

I feel him stare daggers into my eyes. "Because im a magnet for danger. We've both seen to that, Laswell."

"We aren't on the field, Simon. Call me by my actual name."

He looks at me yet again, then returns his attention to the ceiling. The moon played light tricks as traffic drives by.

"It seems as though people scare easily once they hear." He finally chokes out hesitantly. I turn to him as he crosses his bare muscular arms under his head, revealing his side torso and some scars.

"My father. He wasn't the best one. He would torment me, woke me up with a snake in my bed one night. Laughed in my face. I was five. He forced me to kiss it, and I feared my life- because it wasn't just any normal snake. My younger brother Tommy.. he grew older, and would scare me at night by wearing a skull mask."

My heart drops, and I feel a sense of nausea come over me but I try not to gasp. I had to stay silent.

"My father, he took me to Bone Lickers concerts. One night, my father and I came across a dead prostitute who overdosed. He made me laugh, and if I didn't there wouldn't be consequences."

Jesus.

"After 9/11, I decided to join the military after being a butcher. Got accepted into the Special Air Service. Tommy became an addict and stole from our mother to support his habit. I had to quit the military, to help. He straightened out, married a woman and had a kid. So I returned."

He pauses, then breathes again. There was more?

"We had a mission, a Zarazoga Drug Cartel. My team and I, we were captured and tortured for months. After killing Roba, this bastard, General Shepherd approached me. Asked me to join 141."

"Wow.." I breathe silently, trying to process the dump of information that he unloaded on to me. I reach my hand out, my palm lightly laying against his cheek. "I'm so sorry." The thumb strokes the fabric of his mask. It all made sense as to why he always wore it. It became a part of him. All of this trauma.

"We can't make life better. We can just do better." He says.

I lean in, my head leaning against his broad chest. I hear his heart beat, beating at a slightly faster pace at the expense of spilling all of his trauma into probably the first and last person. It wasn't something that came by easy for him- but if I were in his shoes, I wouldn't want to say anything either.

"Simon." I silently say as I look up to him. His eyes meet mine. "You're so strong. And I want you thank you for telling me of your past.. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. No one should. But what I do know is that it formed who you are today, and I wouldn't want to change a thing."

His eyes fall silent and his eyes read nothing. But I continue.

"I think I like you a lot. And I won't use certain words, but I can't imagine my life without you in it. I hate to say this, and I don't expect you to say it back in anyway, shape, or form..."

I sigh, feeling my body fall numb and my lips tremble at the thought. But I needed to say what I felt- it was all here, it just needed to be said. His eyes widen as they look into mine, and I could easily read into the fear he was giving off. My finger nails lightly scrape across his shoulder, and my lips lightly rest against his warm skin.

"But I think I love you."