Kabanata 35

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Kabanata 35
Deal

"ARE you okay?" tanong ni Ryker sa gilid ko.

Pagkatapos namin sa mansion na pinuntahan namin ay dumiretso kami sa beach. Hindi ko alam kung anong rason bakit sa beach niya ako dinala. Baka nananadya talaga siya dahil alam niyang marami kaming memories dito o dahil alam niyang napapakalma ako ng dagat.

Alam kong nakatitig siya sakin pero di na ako nag-abalang tapunan siya ng tingin.

"Obviously not," i fake a laugh. "Yung sugat ko, maghihilom, pero yung mga sinabi ni Camille, paulit-ulit na mag-p-play sa utak ko. Paulit-ulit kong kwekwestiyunin yung sarili ko kung bakit nangyari lahat sakin ‘yon. Kung deserve ko nga ba ang mga bagay na ‘yon o kung anong malaking kasalanan ang ginawa ko sa mundo para parusahan ako ng ganito."

"I'm sorry,"

"Bakit ka nag-s-sorry?"

"Kung hindi ko hiniwalayan si Camille, hindi ka madadamay sa gulo namin."

"You don't deserve that kind of treatment kaya mas better na hiniwalayan mo siya, 'no."

"You're already thirty two years old, right?" nilingon ko siya at tumango. "Do you... still have plans on marrying someone?"

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin saka nagkibit-balikat. "Hindi ko pa alam. I don't think someone can treat me right the way you treated me before. I'm a rape victim—"

"Being a rape victim doesn't make you less, Kal."

"In our society, it does. Rape victims has a less worth than those who aren't."

Napailing na lang siya at ewan ko muli kung bakit. If that's because he disagrees on my opinion or he accepted the fact but doesn't like the idea.

Nanahimik kaming dalawa at nabasag lang iyon nang magtanong uli siya.

"Galit ka ba sa akin?"

Nilingon ko siya nang nakakunot ang noo. "Why would i be mad?"

"Kasi pinakasalan ko si Camille at hindi kita pinili dati."

Natawa ako sa tanong niya. "Bakit ako magagalit dahil do'n? It's your choice at si Camille ang tumulong sayo para maka-move forward ka noong iniwan kita sa kasal."

"What if kinasal tayo nung araw na ‘yon? May mga anak na kaya tayo ngayon o ano pa kaya sana ang mga nagawa nating memories together?"

"Those what ifs is just in your mind, Ry. That doesn't help, you know," i rolled my eyes at him. "I don't love you anymore and you doesn't love me anymore, hindi ba?"

"But i can learn how to love you again."

Kununot ang noo ko. "You jerk! You still have plans to reconcile with me? What the—"

"I do had lost feelings for you. Parehas nating nakikita ang isa't isa bilang kaibigan at bilang kaibigan mo, nakakatakot isiping tatanda ka mag-isa. What i mean is yes, you have Ellery and Chase but they have their own family now. Bukod sakanila, wala na. You found a family on us but i think it will more work without the awkwardness if we reconcile."

"Ang haba ng sinabi mo at alam mo?"

"Hmm? What?"

I look at him straight in the eye. "Wala akong pakialam kahit mamamatay pa ako ng mag-isa, Ry. What i am more afraid is that I'll be able to trust another man and I'm going to live hell in his arms."

"Eleven years is a big waste for the both of us," he chuckled. "I don't think i could ever find someone like you."

"Like me? Ano bang maganda sa akin na wala ang iba? Sige nga!" ngumiti ako at tinitigan si Ry na parang naghahamon.

"Lahat," hindi man lang siya nagdalawang-isip isagot iyon sakin. "Kung si Camille ang biggest insecurity mo noon, ikaw na ang biggest insecurity niya ngayon. You've grown up to be a more respected, strong and beautiful woman now."

"That's the point. We've been separated for eleven years because we need to grow apart and we had grown a lot. Ang daming nagbago sayo at ganon din sa'kin. I will not be able to achieve those achievements i achieved kung tayo that time."

Ilang minuto pa bago ko napagtanto ang sinabi niya. "But how did you know that Camille is my biggest insecurity before?"

"I know everything even if we aren't together except the past 5 years that i am married with Camille," he said. "I made that rapist pay because of harassing you when i commanded you to buy me coffee. Alam ko rin ang dahilan kung bakit nag-resign ka sa kompanya ko."

Natahimik ako at nagsulat na lang ng kung ano ano sa buhangin ng beach gamit ang stick na nahanap ko sa gilid ko.

"Let's make a deal," pagbasag ni Ryker sa katahimikan.

"What deal?"

"Pag in two months, wala ka pa ring boyfriend, I'll be your boyfriend and we're going to make it work this time. No turning back."

"It's no—"

"Deal," kinuha niya ang kamay ko at nakipag-shake hands. Nakangiti pa siya na akala mo ay nanalo sa lotto.

"What's the consequence pag wala akong nahanap na boyfriend at ayaw din kitang maging boyfriend?"

"One hundred thousand,"

Pinalo ko siya sa braso sa sobrang inis. "Tangina, hindi mo na kailangan ng dagdag na pera, ah?!"

"Even if I'm a millionaire, i still need money, Kaliyah."

What the fuck. Hindi maganda ang idea na 'to.

PAGKAUWI ko sa condo ay naroong naghihintay si Ellery at Chance. Napatayo sila mula sa sofa nang maisara ko na ang pintuan ng condo ko. Hinihintay talaga nila ang pagdating ko.

"What the heck?! What happened to you?!" panimulang sigaw agad ni Ellery saka nilapitan ako para icheck ang natamo kong sugat.

"Wala 'to,"

"Anong wala, e, malaki 'to at madami ka pang sugat, oh!" pilit ni Ellery. "Let's file a case to that bitch!"

"I don't have money to pay you, Elle. Besides, kailangan ko ng pera ngayon para sa stocks ng negosyo ko," sabi ko agad.

"Problema ba ‘yon? I'll be your lawyer for free, Kali,"

"Nakakahi—"

"Shut up," Ellery interrupted me. "Sasampahan natin siya ng kaso, okay? Hindi siya matututo hangga't hindi nabibigyan ng legal actions! Anong rason niya sa pananakit sayo? Na ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit nasira yung marriage nila ni Ryker? Gaga siya! Her reasons are not valid to hurt you and to tell you that you deserve to be raped! For fucking's sake, hindi niya alam kung ano ang napagdadaanan nating rape victims after nating ma-rape! Rape is a sensitive topic for us and she doesn't know about that?!"

"Elle," mahinahong tawag ni Chance sa pangalan ng asawa. "Hon, calm down."

"May isa pa akong problema," pagsasalita ko. Nakuha ko naman ang atensyon ng mag-asawa na gusto na agad alamin kung ano ang problema na iyon. "Ryker offered a deal. In two months, i need to find a boyfriend dahil kung hindi, he'll be my boyfriend."

"That's—"

"I know, it's insane,"

"That's good news, Kal," pagtutuloy ni Ellery sa sasabihin niya sana kanina. "Then don't find another boyfriend. Ryker is the right man for you, alright? Kaya ka niyang protektahan at alagaan."

"Minsan, ayoko na talaga yang pagiging desisyon mo, Elle," i laugh.

Natawa din silang dalawa sa sinabi ko.

"What's the punishment?" singit ni Chance.

"Pay him one hundred thousand,"

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