Liz Gillies Requests

Crowds (Liz&Michael)

⚠️Trigger Warning⚠️
This chapter is based around anxiety.

3rd Person POV
She hates crowds.

The only time they're acceptable is when Michael is right by her side.

He wasn't right by her side today.

He wasn't even sure he could make it to be with her tomorrow, either.

It was only that Michael happened to be travelling for meetings in New York at the same time Liz had been invited to a handful of events for the New York Fashion Week that meant they could not only fly out together, but also get a hotel room together.

They had possibly the most luxurious hotel suite they had ever stayed in, which made Liz almost feel guilty that she wasn't sleeping in the large bed next to her husband, and was instead huddled alone in the dark on the couch, rocking herself through the on coming panic attack currently taking over her entire being.

The longer she sat there, the harder it became to breathe.

Her hands were sweating.

She was shaking.

Her eyes were fluttering.

She was fidgeting.

The walls were caving in around her as she looked through tear filled eyes at her knees hugged tightly to her chest.

She gasped desperately for breath that she didn't have and ended up coughing and spluttering as her lungs fought against her.

"Liz?"

Michael.

The bedside lamp on Michael's side switched on, dimply illuminating the left side of the room and glowing a soft orange over Liz.

"Babe?" Michael asks, quickly getting out of bed and walking to the couch, sitting next to Liz.

"I'm not here."

"You're dissociating. Okay. Shit. Okay. Squeeze my hand." Michael offers her his hand which she immediately squeezes and grabs his upper arm in her other hand.

"I can't do this." Liz whispers hoarsely.

"Talk to me, sweetheart." Michael says softly, stroking through her natural curls.

"I need you with me tomorrow." Liz confesses, leaning her head against the side of his body.

"You went on your own today. You did a good job." Michael says.

"I stayed out of the way in the dressing rooms for most of it, Michael. I find it so hard to be around the crowds, to talk to all these people. I get trapped and I can't move and the words don't come out my mouth and I freeze up and people stare and I can't breathe."

Her rant leaves her breathless again and she takes a deep shaky breath, taking her hand that was squeezing Michael's up her to heart and clutching at her chest.

"Don't hurt yourself." Michael says, gently replacing her fist tightly clenching her skin with the palm of his hand resting over her heart.

"I can't do it again. I can't, Michael." Liz panics.

"Stop thinking about tomorrow, think about right now. Focus on me." Michael says softly, rubbing his hand up and down her back.

"I don't even want to go." Liz mumbles, pressing her right side closer against Michael's left.

"I will try to get out of my meeting so I can go with you, but I won't make any promises." Michael says, lightly kissing her temple.

"Really?" Liz asks, looking up at him with soft eyes, still glistening slightly from unshed tears.