Denial of the Whisper

Chapter Twenty.

Chapter Twenty.

He pushed me against the tree, his hand loosely on my neck. Darkness surrounded me.

I dared to look into his cold blue eyes, every bit of friendliness I had hoped to find there, gone.

His nails – talons – bore into my skin as he leaned closer. "Filthy halfling."

My breath was more like a shudder. "Please."

With a loud gasp, I woke up, panting heavily.

That dream again. Or rather, that nightmare.

I tried to calm my breath, and closed my eyes once more.

Immediately, his eyes appeared again.

This is not the truth. This hasn't happened.

But who could assure me, that it wouldn't?

Halfling.

That one, little word I hadn't expected to hear from anyone here, not after I had slowly gotten to know them. Not after they had so often told me, that I shouldn't call myself that.

But I had to face it: It was what I was. Half Rhaayl, half human.

Exhausted, I wiped my tears away and got up. It was still early in the morning, way too early for Nissy to wake me. But... my past days had been like this.

The nightmare, keeping me from a full night's sleep. Either that one... or the one where I saw Caaln, lying on the ground in his own blood. It haunted me.

I had seen injuries before.

But nothing like that.

But those dreams kept me from sleeping, and when I woke up early in the morning, I would go to the castle, even if I dreaded to go there, since... he had called me that.

It shouldn't, but it still weighted heavy on me. Nyshard's opinion, his words, they shouldn't have hurt me like that. In a way.... No, in every way, he had said the truth. But still, it hurt. I hadn't expected him to have a high opinion of me, if it weren't for his stupid promise, he would have never taken the effort to bring me here. But after we had talked on the terrace that evening, I had thought, I had underestimated him. He had seemed nicer that evening, not so cold.

For a short moment, such a short amount of time, I had thought that I had an ability, something, that I could actually do.

But I couldn't.

Not anymore.

As if Nyshard's word had caused something, deep inside of me, I just wasn't able to reach for my powers anymore. There was this wall again, this solid, white wall – or at least, I pictured it like that.

It was like the seal had snapped completely back into place, even though Srandi had assured me, that it hadn't. She had tried to calm me down by telling me, that I had simply overdone it. That it had been too much, that I needed some time, now, that I had used so much of my power all of a sudden, and that in a few months, when I would turn twenty-one, it would break.

I wanted to believe her.

But with every passing day, I feared, that this was it.

A small glimpse of what healing power could feel like.

And now, it was gone.

Quickly, I dressed and waited for Srin to bring me to the castle.

I had no training, but I still went to there every day, just to see him.Three days had passed, and Caaln was still asleep. Srandi had told me, that if his mind hadn't known, that he was in Ilyria, in safety, then, he would have awoken sooner, mindful of any danger close by. But because he was in safety, his mind and body knew that he had time to heal.