Denial of the Whisper

Chapter Twenty-Nine.

Chapter Twenty-Nine.

It was in the middle of the night, and it was silent.

I had no clue were to go, so I just chose a random direction and began walking, farther and farther away from the house I had lived in for the past weeks.

I was sure about finding it again, all I had to do was to walk up the castle hill and around it until I saw some familiar houses, or I would find my way from the castle gate by going directly back to Dylana's house. The mighty Sladowran knew, I'd walked that way a lot those past weeks.

But for now, I didn't care.

It was restlessness that had driven me, but it was soon replaced by my curiosity.

There was a whole town for me to explore. Parks, gardens, places.

I walked along long streets with shops, stores and restaurants, but avoided some other streets with mostly bars and inns. There were still some people outside, despite the chilly wind, despite the upcoming change of the seasons.

Once, I just leaned against a wall and watched some of them sit there and laugh, drink and gamble. When someone looked at me and waved at me, I walked off into another direction again, not wanting to interfere, not wanting to be seen, not wanting anyone to detect me as what I was, a half-breed.

My coat had a hood which I had draped cautiously over my bright hair and my slightly pointed ears and alone, all on my own, I strode through the streets, and for the first time in weeks, I felt it.

Freedom.

Even if it was a false freedom, it was... a trace of it. The cool breeze that threatened to push my hood down and wanted to play with my long hair, the little, distant sound of the wind howling through the trees in the next park, the feeling of being on my own.

Sure, Dylana's house was beautiful – it was a little palace in its own right.

But now, out in the open, alone, I realised what I missed most.

The forest.

Not the darkness of it, but the peace, the smell of wet moss, the sound of birds singing high above my head and the knowledge, that I knew what would happen the next day, namely nothing spectacular. Nothing, that was unknown.

But that life... it was over. I'd lost it, just like I'd lost my freedom, and despite the fact that Caaln hadn't got any other choice, despite the fact that he had just done it because I'd tried to run away, despite the fact that he had saved my life from the wolf, and that all of them had just tried to protect me because the shield had slowly begun to vanish...

Despite all that, it was still my freedom that had been taken from me.

I believed Nyshard what he had told me, but he still held my freedom, my life in his hands. I wouldn't make the mistake to forget that. It gave him an advantage to always be able to find me through using Caaln. And Nyshard was a lord. And all of that, just still made me a captive. He wouldn't let me go.

I made a brief halt at a street that was next to the river, which cut through Ilyria, and leaned against the balustrade for a moment, looking at the stars that reflected in the dark water, dancing to an unheard tune. I stared into the blackness of it, and was instantly reminded of Caaln's eyes. There was... I believe I could call it a friendship that was beginning to form between us, and I had to admit to myself, that I looked forward to our training sessions just as much as I looked forward to my work with Srandi and my studies with Dylana. My days had become structured once again, and that helped me feel more at ease.