Denial of the Whisper

Chapter Thirty-Four.

Chapter Thirty-Four.

"You had a nightmare?"

Sighing, I turned to Caaln, who put the two water bottles to the ground under a little tree in the upper inner courtyard. I'd already warmed myself up, and had waited for him to return to the castle from his trip, and to give me a training session.

"Am I not allowed a bit of privacy anymore?", I rumbled, and scowled a him.

"Would you have told me about it, if Nysh hadn't done it?", Caaln asked and gave me a scrutinizing look.

Shrugging my shoulders, I murmured "It's not that important."

"When you wake up in the night, crying, it is."

Startled, I looked up into his face and said "It was just a dream"

"Was it?"

"You already know, why do you ask then?", I answered angrily.

"It's really easy to make you angry.", Caaln grinned and grabbed - without any forewarning – my arms and tried to push me against the tree.

"What are you doing?", I hissed, but he just said "Defend yourself, Adri, come on."

It was a short and exhausting lesson, and Caaln had taken his job quite serious in trying to teach me how to get out of such situations like the one that had happened that night in Ilyria. There was still a lot to learn and a lot training still ahead of me, until I would be able to defend myself properly, but it was a start.

Afterwards, we sat under that little tree for a while, until I broke the silence "Nyshard was a bit... stranger yesterday. Stranger, than usual, I mean."
"Stranger than usual?", Caaln chuckled lightly and looked at me, nudging me in the side "What bothers you?"

"He thinks I'll hate him one day. He never says exactly why he thinks so, but he seems to be so certain of it."

"Because he is. Certain, I mean.", Caaln said and looked at me.
"Why?"

"I can't tell you. You know I can't."

"That sucks on so many levels.", I murmured and leaned back against the tree, seeing Caaln's grin out of the corner of my eyes "What do you have to grin?"

"You have a big heart, Adri. You might hate him one day, but I'm positive, that you will have it in you to forgive him."

"I just wished none of you would talk with me in riddles anymore.", I frowned and shook my head "And hate is also... a powerful emotion. I don't know if could hate someone. And I told Nyshard that I see that he's not a bad person. Yes, he has my freedom, and I don't like it. That's just... not right.", Caaln took a deep breath, but didn't say anything, so I continued "But he's telling me the truth so far. And for that, I'm thankful."

"That's a start.", Caaln murmured.

With a questioning look, I turned my head to him "To what?"

"You like him."

"Is this supposed to be a question?"

"No, a statement. You're beginning to like him."

"Why are we talking about that?"

"Because I hope, that whatever he does, you will forgive him."

Lips parted, not knowing what to say next, I watched him, intently. Caaln sighed and put his arm around me, drawing me to his side. I let him, I was getting used to this, and I also – dared to admit – that I liked it. I liked not being all on my own for the whole time, I liked... the comfort of a hug. Something, I'd said goodbye to the day my mother died.