Fanfic Short Stories

Schitt's Creek: Enchiladas

Story description: When Alexis arranges for Moira to appear on a cooking show, Patrick and Stevie convince David to be her sous chef. Cue the wine.

Content warnings: canon-typical consumption of excessive wine

Enchiladas

David slid into the booth next to Patrick, across from Stevie.

"You're late," Patrick said.

"I think you mean glowing," David corrected. "Thanks to an amazing facial. Perfection takes time."

"You are glowing," Stevie agreed.

Twyla brought an additional glass of water and a menu. "David, I heard about your mom being on Celebrity Chef. That's so exciting! I never realized she could cook."

"Because she can't," David said. "And what is Celebrity Chef?"

"Oh, it's this new show on the Food Network," Twyla explained. "Celebrities make their favorite recipe and share the story behind it. Alexis called last night and told me about it. She signed your mom up to make her enchiladas." The restaurant door opened, and Twyla turned to see who had entered. "I'll be back for your orders," she promised before leaving to greet the new arrivals.

"Would this be the enchiladas recipe your mother gave me before the wedding?" Patrick asked. "Because if so, I have concerns."

"You absolutely cannot have more concerns than I do," David said. He paused. "But what are your concerns?"

Stevie propped her elbows on the table and leaned forward. "Yes. Do tell."

Patrick grimaced. "It's just that the title of the recipe is 'Bobby Flay's Enchiladas.'"

"Now there's a celebrity chef," Stevie said. "Even I've heard of him."

David nodded. "Hmm. Yes, I remember his restaurants were all the rage in New York."

"Do you think anyone will notice that the recipe is really his?" Stevie asked.

Patrick was looking something up on his phone. "Yes. Given that he's the executive producer of the show, I think it's safe to say they'll notice."

Twyla returned to the table. "Do you know what you want to order?"

"We're still obsessing about enchiladas," Stevie told her.

"Well, it's not on the menu yet, but I've been working on something. You can be the first to try it!" Twyla took their menus and walked away.

"Did you just order an experimental enchiladas recipe?" Patrick asked.

"Apparently so," Stevie said.

"When she comes back, tell her we want wine to go with that," David instructed. Then he pulled out his phone. A moment later Alexis answered, and he placed the phone on the table, in speaker mode. "Why would you arrange for Mom to go on a cooking show?" he demanded.

"Well, duh, David. Because it's brilliant publicity," Alexis said. "And she made those enchiladas for us once and they weren't terrible. I mean, we ate them, and none of us died."

"That's because I made them!" David complained, conveniently forgetting the part about storming out of the kitchen halfway through the process.

"And because it's Bobby Flay's recipe," Stevie added.

"And he's the executive producer of the show, so plagiarizing his recipe wouldn't look good," Patrick added.

"Oh my god!" Alexis exclaimed. "Why doesn't anyone ever tell me these things? And Mom said it was her mother's recipe."