Fanfic Short Stories

White Collar: New and Improved Van

Story description: Mozzie introduces a new concept: a combination of a food truck and FBI surveillance van. What could go wrong?

A/N: Chocolate Box treat for Aaymeirah, who asked for Jones and Mozzie in the van. Handwaving over how the food truck actually works, because everything I know about food trucks comes from watching the Food Network.

New and Improved Van

Clinton Jones was completing a report at his desk Monday morning when he heard Peter Burke's voice. The advantage of being closest to the boss's office was overhearing interesting stuff when the door was open. Today it was, "No, that's okay. If your doctor says you should stay home, then that's what you need to do."

The disadvantage of being closest to the boss's office was being the first person Peter saw when an agent called in sick.

Sure enough, a minute later Peter was at his elbow. "Jones, you wrapped up the Hugo case, right?"

Jones nodded. "Just finishing the paperwork now."

"I need you to fill in on the AWR case. Badillo is out with bronchitis." Peter provided the case details. A group known as American Writer Resources took advantage of authors desperate to be published. The organization seemed to exist entirely online, and finding the people behind it had taken months. Two weeks ago they got a credible tip that publishing magnate Nicole White-Ladd was pulling the strings. Last week they'd placed Neal Caffrey undercover in Nicole's office as her new personal assistant at boutique publishing house NWL. Agent Diana Berrigan had an appointment with Nicole this afternoon as an author whose novel obviously didn't meet the criteria for Nicole's services, and they suspected Nicole would push her toward the AWR and its outrageous fees. "Neal placed bugs in Nicole's office and conference rooms, and Badillo was listening in from the van. We need you to take his place."

"Has it been fumigated?" Jones asked, not entirely kidding. He didn't want bronchitis.

"Better, it's been retired. The new van arrived over the weekend, and you'll be the first to try it out."

Jones leaned forward. "Are the rumors true? Better ventilation and A/C, ergonomic chairs that adjust to the height of the agent, less bulky equipment?"

"I've read the specs, but haven't seen it. In fact, I want a full report on the van before you head home tonight. We only have ten days to decide if we want to keep it."

#

At the vehicle depot, Jones stopped in his tracks when he saw the new van. The back two-thirds of the vehicle had the standard public utilities paint job. The front third had images of burgers and the logo PUB.

"No," Jones said.

Neal's friend Mozzie popped out of the driver's side door. "Isn't it magnificent? I arranged with the city for three Public Utilities Burger installations. Since I have expertise in the Fed's vans, I got the contract to have this one outfitted to my own specifications."

"Once," Jones said. "You've been in the van once. That does not make you an expert."

"Perfect recall," Mozzie said airily. "I remembered not only every piece of equipment, but also every opportunity for improvement."

"And outfitting the van means you know exactly how everything works in case we ever have cause to surveil you. In fact, I want a sweep to make certain you haven't placed any bugs inside the van."

"Naturally," Mozzie said, not sounding the least surprised or insulted.

Once inside the van, Jones had to admit that the new layout, while slightly smaller, was more comfortable. He slid a door at the front end to see a tiny kitchen. "It's barely bigger than a food cart," he observed.