Changes

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Luz

It's been two weeks since I last interacted with Amity Blight and it had been noticeable. My eyes shifted towards her every so often and I actually found myself passing her locker out of habit. I had to stop myself from making a remark as I had usually done. When you suddenly stop talking to someone you spoke to almost daily, enemy or not, it can be hard to grow used to the lack of it.

And now I was blasting music in my ears and resting my head back against the lockers behind me. My eyes were closed as I let out a sigh. I knew that it was halftime and I was supposed to be listening to the coach. So that's when I opened my eyes and watched as she wrote on a whiteboard and waved her arms expressively while my teammates listened on intently. Soon after I felt a tap on my shoulder and I took my earbuds out and looked beside me.

"Hey Luz," Viney said as my eyes met hers. She was giving me a warm smile I couldn't help but return.

"Hey Viney," I started softly, "what's on your mind?" I questioned and she shook her head chuckling.

"Well for me it's the school lock-in tonight and how I plan to spend my time during it. But, well, I was going to ask you the same thing there, Captain. You look like you have some things on your mind yourself." She told me and I leaned forward to readjust and fix my cleats and shin guards.

"Just some things I need to work out when she's ready," I replied in deep thought, forgetting my given task at hand as I fiddled with a loose thread.

"What do you mean? When who's ready? What things?" She asked and I froze, halting any further movements. I had not meant to answer that question so openly and honestly. "Oh never mind, it's probably private so I'll respect you by not asking for you to go into any further details." She said thoughtfully while her hands' gestured to wave off that topic.

"Anyways," she gave me a wink before shooting me a finger gun. "Are you ready for this next half?" She asked moving to stand.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I told her looking off to the side. "Though I'm not all too thrilled about taking the field with this team again." I'd mumbled the last part yet she had heard and shot me a look of understanding before offering me a hand and helping me to stand.

"Yeah, this team is not fun to play ever." She expressed her agreement while looking off to the side after her comment, leading me to realize how the room had grown quiet. This made me shift as I felt uncomfortable and out of place as my mind drifted off once again. "Oh, before I forget," she started taking a folded piece of paper from her pocket and offering it out to me. "Amity stopped me and said to give this to you." I looked down at the paper in her hand hesitating before taking it from her.

"I'm not entirely sure why she couldn't give it to you herself but I figured it was none of my business." She commented and my eyes lifted from the paper to examine her face. Though all she did was stand there with a smile as her eyes portrayed how unknowing she was to Amity and me. And how our strained relationship increased tenfold and was far more than she'd been able to know. To her, all I did was annoy Amity just as she annoys me. She was unaware of the extent this went to. 

"Thanks," I spoke looking down and wondering if I shouldn't open it until later but thought better of it. I'd been too curious after all the silence I have been receiving from her end. Though I was very disappointed when I opened it only to see a study sheet she made for me regarding my upcoming test. The only form of communication or interaction had been done after school during tutoring where classwork is strictly the only thing we talked about. Still, my thoughts consisted of her, tears threatening to well up in my eyes as they consumed me.

There was nothing left to do but think of her; actions didn't do me any favors, words only seemed to make things worse, and now it seemed she wanted nothing to do with me. A change she claimed to want in her life, for everything and everyone, except for here, now, with me. She was willing, but she wasn't ready. The timing never seemed to work out for us yet I had to be patient. I want to get it right this time with her and if she needs that from me then I'll gladly give it to her. I wanted to respect her, and even though after how we ended things I found myself far more confused about where we stood than I have ever been, this is just how it was.