Chase and Madelyn: A love story

Chapter 3

TW: Mentions of eating disorders/depression

Madelyn's POV:

When I talked to my mom yesterday, she recommended therapy. I was surprised. The last time I did therapy was in high school. It wasn't pretty.

My parents made me go to a therapist named Dr. Cho, even though it was for my own good, but I sat there in front of the therapist silently until the session timed out.

I did that until one day instead of pulling into the Dr. Cho's parking lot, my mom drove past and into the YMCA parking lot instead.

Flashback (2012)

"What are you doing?" I asked my mom wondering why we weren't at the Dr. Cho's place.

"I thought it would be nice for you to talk to someone your own age." My mom responded.

"What do you mean? I already have friends." I asked

"Think of her as a big sister or a mentor. You can tell her anything, judgement free." She responded.

We met in the lobby of the YMCA. She was tall. My mom said she was my age but she looked a lot older.

"Hey! I'm Michelle! Do you want to sit down with me? We can chat, you know, like about girl stuff? What do you think?" the woman said.

I agreed, I was an only child which could be isolating sometimes. I had always wanted a big sister.

My mom said she'd be back in an hour and left us to hang out. We talked about everything, school, my boyfriend Toby, friend drama, body image issues, and more. I felt comfortable with Michelle. She didn't add much to the conversation but she did ask questions. I found myself talking freely and spilling it all.

"It was great talking to you, Maddie!" Michelle said as my mom re-entered the building. "I can give you my number so we can talk again, maybe next week?"

I nodded and smiled. I took the small piece of paper with her number on it. She seemed like she could really become a close friend if we hung out or something.

"How was that?" My mom asked.

"Good!" I responded, "She's really nice, I want to hang out with her again, but maybe we could do something different like watch a movie or have a sleepover or something."

My mom paused; she didn't say anything for about 45 seconds.

"No." She said.

"What?" What do you mean no?" I asked

"I mean, no, she can't come over."

"Why? I thought you said you wanted me to have someone I could talk to like a big sister!" I said.

My mom blurted out "She's a therapist Madelyn."

I said as if I hadn't heard her correctly. "Huh?"

"You refused to speak with the other one so I talked to Michelle and she had the idea of setting it up like this. She works with teens like you."

"What?" I said growing more frustrated. "Teens like me? Michelle is a therapist? What do you mean? You tricked me!"

"I'm sorry hon, I really am. You wouldn't talk to me and I can tell you're feeling down about something. I needed you to be able to let it out and you wouldn't say anything to Dr. Cho. Your dad and I didn't know what to do. It's for your own good. Now that you know, you can see Michelle in her office next time."

I couldn't believe it. My mom tricked me. I told Michelle everything and she would probably tell my mom. I didn't want my mom to know. She couldn't know.

The next day my mom came home and knocked on my door. She knew I was still upset about the whole Michelle situation.

"Honey, I'm sorry. I want you to know that it is good to let it all out and that it's ok to talk about your feelings." she said.

"Did she tell you?" I asked.

My mom nodded. "Yeah, she did sweetie. I'm so sorry I hadn't noticed earlier." She rubbed my back.

"Michelle told me about your binging. And the depression." She stated. "She said that you did so well and that you're a good kid. She wants to talk to you again. Her job is to be there for you and listen and to make you feel better. I hope you know that we only want the best for you. Will you please consider talking to her again? It might help you." My mom said.

"Ok, but don't trick me like that." I responded quickly

"I won't, I'm sorry, but thank you for being so open yesterday, I love you honey." She replied.

Flashback concludes

Even though I had a bad experience in the past, I wanted to try again, especially because I was known now and people felt the need to comment terrible things about me online. I looked at the link my mom emailed me and set up an appointment with Ruby, a therapist specializing in depression, anxiety, and eating disorders.

"What are you doing?" Chase asked glancing over at my phone.

"I think I'm gonna start therapy again. I need an outlet for all this hate or I'll explode."

"Good, I'm proud of you," he said. He kissed my forehead and then grabbed my butt. I giggled. Chase hugged me for a good 5 minutes and we swayed back and forth to imaginary music.

I thought to myself, "He's the love of my life".