Chase and Madelyn: A love story

Chapter 70

TW: Mentions of self harm

Chase's POV:

After the knife incident, I didn't know what to do or say. Obviously I helped Madelyn calm down, but I didn't follow her upstairs or try to talk about it with her. It was really scary. She's had bad urges before, but a lot of times they weren't totally noticeable, sometimes Madelyn would just zone out or have a panic attack. I had never seen her this way, completely frozen and unable to look away from the blade until I moved it.

I was so worried that her mental state was only going to get worse as soon as both babies were home. She was overwhelmed, tired, and not thinking clearly due to the lack of sleep. I stood in the kitchen afterwards and leaned into the counter. I took the knife block off of the counter and hid it behind some things in a high cabinet. I trusted Madelyn, but I knew it was hard for her to act rationally if she felt an urge, especially with all of these other heightened emotions.

I took the baby monitor with me and sat outside to get some fresh air and clear my head. I noticed Madelyn sleeping while holding Juliet's tiny hand on the screen of the monitor. I smiled, they both looked so peaceful and beautiful. A few hours went by and neither Madelyn or Juliet budged, they were both sleeping soundly.

I decided to continue to make dinner. I was making steaks with some vegetables and other sides. I wanted to make a nice dinner for us since we had been so busy and stressed recently, we both deserved it. I was hunched over the counter cooking when I felt warm arms wrap around my waist. Madelyn sighed.

"Are you mad at me?" She asked quietly.

"What?" I asked surprisedly.

I turned around, Maddie's arms still around my body.

"Mads, why would I be mad at you? Did you think I was mad?" I checked worriedly.

I lifted her chin with my fingers. Her face was red and splotchy from crying and her eyes were bloodshot.

She shook her head.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

She shook her head again. "Not really."

I held her cheeks in my hands.

"What would make you feel better?" I replied.

"Can you just hold me?" Maddie posed hesitantly.

I wrapped my arms around her body and brought her in for a tight hug. I moved my hands up and down her back to soothe her.

"You'll be ok." I whispered.

We stayed in that position for a few minutes until I heard Juliet's cries through the baby monitor. Maddie jumped slightly at the sound. I gently pulled away from the hug.

"I'll be right back." I said. Madelyn nodded as I headed upstairs. I came back to the kitchen holding a squirming Juliet.

Maddie was sat on the counter. Her face lit up as soon as she saw Juliet.

"It's mama!" I exclaimed quietly to Juliet as I pointed to Maddie.

Madelyn held her arms out excitedly.

"There's my girl." She said. I placed Juliet in her arms and Madelyn began to kiss her cheeks and cuddle her.

"Can we talk about what happened?" I asked.

Madelyn was now seated at the kitchen table with Juliet latched onto her boob. She paused for a moment and bit her lip.

"Ok..." Madelyn said.