Chase and Madelyn: A love story

Chapter 10

TW: Mentions of self harm/suicide

Madelyn's POV:

It's been a week since I was released from the hospital. I was put on an involuntary hold for 2 days. Chase and my mom helped me get a psychiatrist who put me on 2 different medications and got me discharged. It was all a blur.

"Hey," I heard Chase say as he entered the room, "Maddie," he said louder trying to get my attention. I had been laying in bed most days. It was 3 PM, and I was laying in our dark bedroom, not sleeping, just letting my mind wander. 

"If I make you something to eat can you promise you'll eat it?" Chase said.

"I'm not hungry" I responded.

"Maddie, I know this week has been unbelievably hard, but I think we should make a good routine for you while you're off filming." he said.

Our director gave me 2 weeks off of filming. I hadn't told the others what happened, except for Madison. She sends me daily texts telling me how proud she is and that she loves me. I really appreciate it but I feel so guilty. I keep picturing the look on Chase's face when I was taken away in the ambulance. He was broken, and I did that. I felt bad that we were behind on production, and it was my fault. 

Chase finally gave up trying to have a productive conversation with me and instead said, "Do you want to watch TV?"

I nodded. I just wanted to be alone but the least I could do was spend some time with the man I love. We watched shitty reality TV as I rested my head on his chest feeling his heart beat. I thought to myself, what if I hadn't accidentally told Ruby about the cutting? Would I still be slicing up my legs? Would Chase have noticed by now? I wanted to show Chase that I was better, I didn't want him to have to care for me like a fragile baby, but I wasn't better. I was hurt, physically and mentally, and it hurt me to see him hurt for me. 

Chase ruffled my hair as I closed my eyes.

"Maddie?" He asked. "Were you trying to k-" he paused taking a big gulp, "...kill yourself?" he finished.

I teared up. "No," I said after a long pause. I looked up at him and we both had tears in our eyes.

"Can you just promise me that you won't hurt yourself again? Or at least if you are about to, you will come to me first?" he asked letting the tears spill over.

"Of course," I said wiping his tears away with my thumb. "I'm so sorry, Chase. I never wanted it to come to that. I'm sorry you had to see that." I said. I was embarrassed about the whole situation. 

"Don't apologize," Chase said, "I'm just glad you're ok." He kissed the top of my head and ran his fingertips through my hair. I closed my eyes and began to drift to sleep. 

When I awoke, Chase was changing my bandages. I felt the embarrassment coming back to my body. My cheeks were red hot.

"It's ok, it's just me." He said reassuring me. He wiped my scars clean and bandaged them up. He kissed my nose and brought me a plate of dinner. This time I actually ate and I felt a lot better.

"What a hungry gal!" he joked. I chuckled as I cleared the plate. 

That night as we were getting ready for bed Chase said, "Mads, do you want to get out of the apartment and do something tomorrow? It might help you take your mind off thing."

"Yeah, I'd like that." I said. I kissed him and felt his pillowy lips against mine. We hugged and I eventually fell asleep in his arms.