Chase and Madelyn: A love story

Chapter 15

TW: Mentions of self harm

Madelyn's POV: 

It had been 2 weeks since I first saw my new therapist, Carrie. I had been going to her twice a week. I was hesitant at first because twice a week seemed like a lot but it's really helping. Chase and I try to talk about our feelings once a day and it's going really well. I haven't felt an urge to cut since. He was still protective but he trusted me, no more sitting outside the bathroom door or checking my wrists for fresh cuts. And, our sex life had never been better. There was only one problem, my period was 4 days late, and it's never late. If there was anyone who consistently showed up on time and never missed anything, it was my period. I decided to wait one more day before alerting Chase.

Another day went by. No sign of my period. 

"I'm just gonna pick up some things at Target, do you need anything?" I asked Chase.

"No, why are you going alone, do you want me to come?" He questioned.

"It's ok, I think I need some time alone." I responded trying to sound as believable as possible.

"Are you sure you're ok?" He asked.

"Chase, I'm fine. I just want to run some errands by myself." I said.

He gave in and kissed my cheek. "Ok, be careful." He said eyeing the car key.

"Woah, I'm not that bad of a driver!" I joked and we both laughed.

When I arrived at Target, I picked up a few toiletries before finding myself in front of the pregnancy tests. I took a deep breath and took 2 off the shelf.

When I got back home, there was a note from Chase on the counter that said, "Went to the gym. Making pasta for dinner, don't snack too much. Love you." I smiled to myself knowing how much he cared about me. 

I put down everything else I had bought except for the pregnancy tests and locked myself in the bathroom. Chase wouldn't be home for a little while but I didn't want to risk it. Behind the locked door, I pulled down my pants and sat on the toilet. I unwrapped both of the tests just so the results were as accurate as can be and I peed while holding them under me. When I finished, I sat them on the sink and wiped before I stood up to wash my hands. My heart was beating faster. The instructions said to wait 3 minutes before checking the results. 

1 minute. 2 minutes. 3 minutes. I didn't look, I was too scared. I knew it would be ok no matter what, I had options, but I still found myself shaking. I finally flipped over the tests.

2 lines. 2 lines in both of the tests, positive.

"Fuck..." I whispered. The lines were dark, there was no way that these were false positives. Still shaking, I stuffed the tests into my sweatshirt pocket and sat on the couch waiting for Chase.

About 20 minutes later, I heard the door's latch unlock. Shit, I thought to myself, this just got so much more real.

"Hey, babe! So pasta is good for dinner, right?" Chase asked. He was always very peppy after going to the gym.

I didn't respond. He knew something was wrong. He rushed over to the couch and sat next to me.

"Maddie," He said trying to get my attention. "Mads? Did it happen again? I'm not mad, you just need to tell me." He said calmly, referring to the self harming.

"No, nothing happened." I replied. 

"What is it? Talk to me." He said while stroking my arm. 

I began to cry. I covered my face with my hands and sobbed quietly.

"You're scaring me, can you please t-" Chase said before I cut him off by handing him the pregnancy tests from my pocket. 

He had looked like he'd seen a ghost.

"You're pregnant?" Chase asked in disbelief. 

I nodded, still crying. Without saying anything, Chase engulfed me in his embrace and we hugged while I cried and cried.

"It's ok, it's ok Maddie. Breathe with me." He said while rubbing my back. I took a deep breath shakily.

"I can't." I sobbed. It felt like my lungs were collapsing. Chase didn't let me go.

"Shhh, I'm here with you. It's gonna be ok. Stay calm." He reassured me. 

The calmness of Chase's steady voice eventually relaxed me and I pulled away from this hug.

"What do we do?" I asked him while wiping away my tears and catching my breath.

"This is all very fresh and new, why don't we take a couple of days to think and talk it out?" He proposed.

I agreed. I could tell he was worried but was trying to hide it so he wouldn't scare me.

"I'm gonna call my mom." I said. My mom always knew how to make me feel better.

"Do you want privacy?" He asked not knowing if I could be alone in this moment.

"Yeah, that would be nice. Thanks." I said while he exited the room.

My mom picked up right away.

"Hi honey, how's your day going? I was actually just about to call you!" She said. 

I sniffled into the phone.

"Are you crying sweetie? What's wrong?" She asked worriedly.

"Hi." I said after calming myself down. "I need to tell you something."

"Madelyn, are you ok?" She responded.

"Actually, can I come over? I want to talk to you in person." I said.

"Of course, I'll see you soon." She said.

I told Chase I was going to my parent's and that I wanted to go alone but that I would be back in a few hours. Before I could walk out the door, he grabbed my hand and pulled me closer, hugging me. He kissed the side of my neck and whispered, "It's gonna be ok, I love you."

I drove the 30 minutes to my childhood home where my parents lived. My dad was at work so it was just my mom. As I pulled into the driveway, my mom was standing there with a concerned look on her face. I got out of the car, my cheeks still wet from my tears and she hugged me while stroking my head.

"Does Chase know you're here? What's going on?" She asked.

I nodded. "I don't know what to do!" I cried. She hugged me tighter and then escorted me inside.

My mom made me a cup of tea and we both sat down on the couch. 

I took a few deep breaths. "I'm pregnant..." I said.

My mom looked at me not knowing how to react.

"Oh, Madelyn." She said. "You know I support you no matter what."

"I know. I don't know what to do." I replied.

"Just know that you have options and that I'm with you 100% in whatever you choose, ok? Why don't you sit with it for a couple of days." She said while placing a hand on my knee. 

"That's what Chase said." I responded.

"I'm glad you went to him first. I love you so much." She said while making her lap available for my head. I laid down and closed my eyes as she ran her fingers through my hair. Mom always did this when I was upset about something. It made me feel like a little kid again.