Chapter 22

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TW: Brief mentions of eating disorders

Madelyn's POV:

It had been about 2 and a half weeks since the intervention. I wasn't doing as badly as before, but I still was not great. I had been seeing Carrie 4 times a week which was hard. I know she wanted to make sure I was ok and alive, but it was so difficult talking about my emotions and deepest darkest thoughts for 4 hours a week. Chase was good to me though, he was pampering me and always making sure I was comfortable and ok. Even though he apologized for the whole checking for scars in my sleep debacle, I still hadn't fully forgiven him. I could however understand how difficult this must've been for him, so I never held it against him. 

We only had a few more days of filming left which brought up so many emotions. I was happy because it was exciting finishing such a big project, but it was also bittersweet. It was the worst and best months of my life. Along with those emotions, I was scared. As soon as we wrapped season 2, I would be going to a mental health facility against my will. I was terrified. I wanted to get better but I needed Chase and my family, I couldn't be without them.

A few days later, it was our last day of filming. When I woke up, I looked over at Chase who appeared emotional.

"Babe, are you ok?" I asked.

He shook his head. It was obvious that he was trying to hide his emotions from me.

"What's wrong?" I asked starting to sit up. I put my hands in his.

"Nothing, I'm just sad that it's our last day." Chase said.

"Yeah, me too." I replied. I knew it was more than that, he wouldn't usually get upset over these kinds of things.

"Is that all?" I questioned while moving hair out of his eyes. 

Chase had a puzzled look on his face. "What do you mean?"

"Is there anything else bothering you? You seem upset." I responded.

He shook his head and said, "No, I'm ok. I guess I'm tired too though." 

I could tell that it was a lie. I knew my mental health issues had taken a toll on Chase, but he didn't want to talk about it so I didn't push him. 

A few hours later, Chase and I were filming our last scene.

"That's a wrap!!" Jonas yelled excitedly. The whole cast and crew cheered. I ran over to Chase and jumped into his arms. He embraced my body tightly and whispered in my ear, "I'm so proud of you Mads, I love you so much."

"I love you too. We did it." I said back. I took a deep breath of relief. 

Later that night, it was our wrap party. We were going to go to a restaurant and have a fun celebration. I was excited to let go and just have a good time with my friends for a night before going to the facility for however long it would be. 

Chase and I arrived at the dinner and greeted everyone. Madison hugged me tightly. She felt bad about the intervention and she told me that she hated seeing me upset like that. I forgave her, but she still hugged me super close and for a long time. 

"Gross, get a room!" Rudy joked.

We all laughed. I hadn't told anyone else about what was happening tomorrow yet. I was scared. I didn't want them to see me as damaged or a danger to myself and others. We all hung out a lot, so I knew I had to tell them something soon because they would be wondering where I was. 

After dinner, I was already tipsy. Drew and I took shots and I kept getting drunker and drunker. 

"WOOOO! Let's get this party started!" I yelled loud enough for everyone to hear. They all cheered.

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