Umfelokazi

Chapter 38

Chapter 38

Waking up to the noise inside the yard more especially the goat being slaughtered told me that it was time that I got up.  My mother in law never expects us to wake up at a specific time. All of us for that matter and also she does not expect us wives to do duties alone. Everyone is involved even our husbands. She orders her children around more than she does to us and sometimes that is why Thulani doesn't like being home much because he knows that there are alot of chores waiting for him more than me but when we are home with my family it is the other way around. I am the one slaving around and he gets to relax. 
He is not here next to me so I get off the bed and I pull a gown and wear it over my night dress. I make the bed and I go and open the windows and curtains and then I pack everything away that was out of order. I then moved out of the bathroom and greeted a face that I am not so familiar with before moving to the bathroom and getting to pee before I wash my face and brush my teeth. I make it out of there and I bump into my mother in law when I am by the kitchen. The smell of the insides being cooked got to me today more than it has ever did before.
“Mvelo Mntanami good morning”,She says.
“Good morning mah How did you...”,I didn't finish my sentence as I started gagging.
“Are you okay?”,She asks with concern.
“Yes I am okay...”,I feel the vomit come up my mouth and I rush to the bathroom.
She follows behind me and luckily there was no one in the bathroom. I vomit inside and more comes from my throat. She comes and brushes my back.
“Take it all out. It's normal don't worry”,She says so soothingly.
I get done and I pick up my head from the toilet and she flushes it for me and closes it. I get up from the floor and I go and rinse my mouth before I brush my teeth again.
“When were you and Thulani planning on letting us know of these big news?”,She asks and I freeze there.
“Mah?”
“Don’t mah me Nomvelo. Were you guys even going to tell us that you are expecting?”,she is calm but a pinch of hurt is there.
“Yes we were when I start showing mah. We just wanted to get through the first three months well”,I say. 
There is no use denying it anymore. She knows, I knew she knows.
“I hear you, I am happy that you guys are giving me more grandchildren”,I faintly smile.
“I am happy too”,She then has a slight frown on her face. 
“What is wrong? You are not that ecstatic as I thought you would be?”,She asks.
“I am happy mah it's just that something the doctor told me and it has me feeling fear ful for a moment.”,I say.
“What it?”,She goes and closes the door.
I sigh.
“When I got in that car accident with my twin sister I was told that the possibilities for me conceiving are low, below 50% chances.”,I sigh and she has sadness over her face.
“But God has given you the gift no doctor can predict”,She says.
“I know mah”,Tears prickle my eyes.
“Since I conceived I...I was given the option to do an abortion...”,she gasps and puts her hands over her mouth
“Or I will not make it after giving birth”,my voice is left shaking.
“Hayi Nomvelo! I...I don't know what to say”,She says.
“What is Thulani saying?”,She asks.
“I didn't tell him”,I say.
“You don't intend on doing so?”,she asks.
“To be quiet honest no mah. I know that it is wrong but this is the one thing I have been wanting to give to Thulani. The way he has been so happy ever since the news I don't want him to be put in a tight position where he chooses his blood or me”
“You may not be his blood Nomvelo but he will be left shattered”,Tears stream down our cheeks. She pulls me close to her. 
“Please pray about this. Find a way to tell him, he needs to know”,She says.
“Please don't tell him.”,I say.
“I will not”,She says. 
“I want to protect him mah, I want him to be happy. This is a gift I can give to him where we will experience something together”,I say.
“Is it worth it Nomvelo?Keeping secrets is not good.”she asks softly.
“For your son it always is worth it.”,I say and she sighs.
“I am sorry you are going through this”,I wish things were different but wishing would not help. Only God can help me at this point.