Umfelokazi

Chapter 39

Chapter 39

BONGANI ZONDI

I remove myself from him and I wipe my face and I take a deep breath in and look at him as he stares at me. 
“I will not stop you from knowing Sqalo”,I say softly.
“Thank you”,He keeps on staring at me. 
“I have to go now”,I turn around as I feel that this is now turning very much awkward.
“Bonga”,I turn to look at him.
“Yes”
“I...I never hated you”,He says.
“I have always loved you”,he says and I close my eyes. 
“Hlubi,we were young kids and didn't know what we were doing. I don't think that it is love”,I say.
“It is, because you don't know how I felt all those years seperated from you. I always thought that maybe you would follow after me”
“I got married. I am still married”,I say.
“I am not talking about your marriage here Bonga but I am telling you what I told you that night”
I close my eyes holding onto my bag as tightly as I can while I can hear his voice in my head. The one that is from his 19 year old voice box.  Where he held me close to his body and kissed me and told me that he loves me and for the first time I was in shock from what he said. I have always told myself that it must have been from the sexual desire that is where those words came from and never really took them seriously.
I open my eyes and look at him as he is staring at me waiting for me to say something but I have nothing to mention. 
There is a knock on the door and he stands for a while staring at me before he moves going behind me to open the door and I hear his brother's voice behind me and I turn around.
“Are you guys okay?”,he asks staring in between the both of us.
“Yes...yes we are”,Hlubi says. 
“Okay, are you guys done?”,He asks.
I was about to reply with a yes when Hlubi spoke over me.
“No we are not”,he says.
“Okay”,His brother moves from the door and he closes it. 
“Why did you say that?”,I ask.
“We are not done talking Bonga.”
“What do you want to talk about Hlubi?”
He walks closer to me and stands infront of me towering my short self.
“You really have not changed”,Was I supposed to change?
“I know”
“I mean what I said Bonga”
“Thank you”,I say.
He keeps quiet.
“Can I kiss you?”,He says and brushes my chin before his lips capture mine and I am paralysed in his presence.
One, two,three, strokes in this kiss before I pull away trying to get out his trans and I look at him. 
“We should stop this...this kissing behaviour”,I say. 
“Okay”,He says cooly. 
I nod my head and I move away from him.  I get to the door and stop a bit before I open the door and I walk out of it going to the living room.  I do not find my parents there but Sqalo is sitting on the same couch that we sat on when we arrived here. 
“Where are your grand parents?”,I ask.
“Talking to Mr Mzimela”,He says. 
“Okay”,he stands up from the couch and looks at me. 
“Did he do anything to you?,he asks checking me.
“No, he did not.”
“I am not a woman beater. I am better than that”,Hlubi says behind me. 
“Mmmh”,Sqalo holds onto my hand. 
“I...I..”,I decide to shut my mouth as I do not know what to say.
This is a very awkward position that we are in and I do not even know I should dissolve this situation. 

NOMVULA ZUNGU-MVELASE

I am so glad that I have been cleared to go back to work on Monday and sitting here at home has been driving me crazier than I thought it would be. Maybe it is because I hardly take some time off unless I am burner out then I would. My daughter was invited to a birthday party so that is why it is so quiet in the house. Well unless you can say Lange’s car racing sports thing is being quiet then you could say that. I  am making a few snacks before I go and join him on the couch. It is weird that as all the men I know that love soccer as their favourite sport to watch for husband that is not the case. It is this sport racing thing and he seems so much facinated by it. I have tried my best to understand it but I never got the chance to so I just told myself that I would never get it and I never will anyway.  I finish up in the kitchen and I go to the living room and I find him on his feet. There he is, he is understanding this thing and just like soccer players when they either miss a goal or about to get a goal and people wait in anticipation by standing up. He is doing the same in this sport.
“Are we winning?”,I ask.
All I know is he likes Lewis Hamilton. I mean he is appeasing to the eye.
“Yes baby”,,He says.
I sit back and fold my legs and watch him as he sits back down and turns to me.
“You can change the chanel”I didn't even ask twice.
I quickly grab the remote and change the Chanel. 
“Tomorrow I might come back home a bit late”,,He mentions.
“Oh”.
“Mmmh”
“Thats fine,atleast you told me”,I smile.
He gets a bit weirded by my response but quickly masks it.
I turn around and watch the Tv. I will not entertain that. For all I know maybe I saw nothing.