How much can love save?
*
Leila is torn between keeping away from her mate and saving her Pack. She believes staying away from him is best for the both of them. But the only way she stands a chance at protecting the people she loves is if she accept...
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~NICK
We were all startled when Leila walked into the dining room for breakfast. She was all clean and...sober. Her eyes were clear. She looked more of herself...except for the visible loss of weight.
It had been two days after the second episode when she woke up. It wasn't as horrible as the first but it was still bad. She'd stayed in her room on her nightgown since then...quiet with an empty gaze. She didn't want to eat anything.
We all stared at her in surprise. We thought it would take her long to get back to her senses.
She walked at the chair she usually sat on, and sat. She served herself breakfast and quietly started eating. The table was way too quiet until my mother cleared her throat, reminding everyone to keep eating. But Leila kept chugging food down her throat. Of course, she was hungry. She hadn't eaten in two days straight.
As soon as she put her fork and knife down...
"I'm leaving."
Everyone on the table turned to look at her...including me.
"What?"
"I figured I was here because Rey was and now she's not."
I wasn't catching her words clearly. I felt dizzy in the head especially with lack of sleep and too much stress. I've been too stressed that a tampering headache knocked into my temples every single time. Including now. Her words weren't making it better.
"So, I decided I wanna stay at the refugee houses until I figure out what I'm gonna do..."
I cut her off, putting my fork and knife down. "You don't have to."
She looked at me and I noticed the still empty gaze. The madness ready to creep into her at any moment. That lack of strength and hope. "There's nothing for me here."
I snapped, almost hitting the table. "I am here." Everyone was now staring but I didn't care. "We're all here."
"I know. But I'm not. I might be...physically...but I'm not. I keep losing my mind each day that passes without knowing where she is...or even how she got out of here." She looked at Rachel. "I can't even go back to Rachel's. There are so many memories and I don't think I could keep up with them."
"Leila...she's not dead." It was a small string of hope that kept tugging off with every day that passed. But I held on to it nonetheless.
"I don't know anymore. I was out there and attacked by those...lycan killers. And she's also out there, a lycan...and alone...for days." There was a small tremor in her voice. "All I want right now, Nickolas, is to hold her body and tell her everything is okay...that it wasn't her fault this world is messed up, and that I'm here now...even if she isn't breathing."
I took a sharp inhale and leaned back on my chair. "Are you doing this because of me?"
"No. I don't blame you, Nick. I don't hate you. You did everything you could have done and I don't blame you. I also didn't do enough to protect her. I was out for three weeks and you had to carry both my responsibilities and yours. I won't blame you if you missed the signs. I won't blame you if she slipped out from under your nose too. We can not always be there but we try."
