𝓕𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓕𝓵𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓼 ~ 𝓙𝓲𝓪𝓻𝓪

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 38

Kiara laid in her bed with her notebook. JJ was sitting on the floor coloring an adult coloring book Kiara had stored away. She gazed at the blond sketching out his hair and his hat. Her pencil curved and shaded connecting all the lines to create his figure. JJ began to lay on his stomach as he continued to color.

"Hey, don't move. You're messing me up," she said, waving her pencil to get him to go back in position.

He quickly did what she said, "sorry."

"You're good, just try not to move."

"What if I have a foot cramp?"

"Turn it off or something, just don't move."

He furrowed his brows wondering how that would work. Kiara went back and forth to him and her book. She turned it in all directions, drawing from all angles. JJ studied her in admiration. The sight of her artistry was seldom but it was nice to see her so relaxed.

"So is it often that you draw portraits like this?"

"No"

"So am I the only one?"

"No, you're one of the few."

"So I'm basically the first."

"Whatever makes you happy," she glanced at him as he rearranged the colored pencils into a rainbow.

"You can move now, I'm finished."

It didn't take long for him to crawl over to her bed, "Can I see it?"

"No."

He tried to take a peak,"Why not?"

"Because it's ugly," she said, covering the notebook with her chest.

"Are you calling me ugly?"

She smiled, "no, but I don't like the way I drew it."

"Lemme see, it can't be that bad."

"I beg to differ."

She finally gave him the notebook, setting it down on the bed. JJ saw the pencil shaded picture and was speechless seeing how detailed it appeared. She got his dimples, necklace, and even the hair that peaked a little from under his hat. He couldn't understand why she was self conscious about it.

"Damn no wonder you hid it from me," he teased.

Her mouth gaped open in offensive, "you are such an asshole," she shoved him away from her bed

He laughed, coming back to her "Nah but this is sick, Kie. Like better than I've ever seen actually."

She rolled over laying on her back, "Well you haven't seen many artists then."

"I've seen enough to know that you're up there. Can I keep this?"

"Yeah, sure."

"I'll put it on the fridge. Anything that goes on the fridge in my house is the best of the best."

She smiled at him, "I'm honored."

JJ climbed into bed lying next to her. Kiara scooted closer to him, lying her head on his chest. Their hands weaved together like a knitted sweater as his fingers on his other hand played with her hair.

"I was thinkin that maybe we should tell them," JJ suggested.

"Tell them about us?"

"Yeah, why not?"

Kiara raised her head, staring at him closely, "you think so?

He furrowed his brows feeling the uncertainty laced in her tone, "you don't think so?"

"I never said that."

"Well I can feel it.

She started to sit up, "it's just I thought we were going to wait until we were ready."

"Yeah and I am ready," he sat up, taking both her hands this time, " aren't you?"

Kiara was not ready. She loved being with him in a way no one knew. Not because she was embarrassed by him but for the simple fact that he was hers. That his love was so devoted to her it created a sense of comfortability that was greater than any love she ever had. It was soft, romantic, and private. However, she felt that maybe because of his love for her that it was rather intoxicating to the point of suffocation. He knew exactly how he felt and she loved that, honestly, but she wasn't ready. She wasn't ashamed of him, of course not, but the idea that they are together and it was real haven't completely seeped in all the way. It was a big step she was hesitant to take.

JJ watched her eyes break away from his begging ones. He wanted her to say something but then she didn't. The needle of confusion and hurt pricked through his heart as he let go of her hands. She was embarrassed by him. She didn't say such an assumption but he knew. At least that's what he believed.

"Forget it, I already know how you feel about me," he got up grabbing his shoes and keys.

Kiara reached for him, "Jayj, please."

He turned and faced her, "I don't understand. One minute you're all over me and the next minute you act like you don't even care."

"I do care, why do you think we're in this relationship?"

"You tell me because it sure doesn't feel like it."

"Listen, I do care about us. I'm just not ready, okay."

He took off his hat to rake through his hair, nodding briefly. He didn't say much but she knew that he was still upset.

"C'mon what difference does it make if we say something right now? It doesn't change how I feel about you. "

"To show that I love you! To hold your hand in public and be able to kiss you when I want. I want to tell my parents about my girlfriend and how fucking dope she is. I want to tell the entire world while you barely want to tell a fucking ant! That's the difference!"

"Well that's the problem! You want everyone to know  so soon when they don't need to yet."

"And you want to hide the fact that this doesn't exist.   That what we have isn't important enough to know for your little one dimensional  kook friends, because all knows that going out with a pogue is way too much than being friends with one."

She twisted her face into offense. Silence lingered for as long as a second felt in a time of great distress. Kiara didn't understand why he was being this way.

She got out of her bed, went to her door, and  opened it, "I wanted to know for sure that what I felt for you was real because I couldn't afford losing a good friend because we didn't know how to be in love. But if that's how you feel about MY family then I guess there's nothing left to say."

He saw tears welled in her eyes. The regret of his words quickly flushed through him,"Kie-"

"Just leave, okay," she motioned out the door.

JJ left her room as she closed the door behind a little harder than needed. She sat on her bed with tears and frustration brimming like an overflowed coffee pot. She glanced over at the portrait he never took.

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I was bored, tehe. However, I have decided to end this book on chapter 40. There may or may not be a sequel👀 stay tuned.
Until next time,

Sincerely, Nicki<3