namek saga (ch-1)

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(scene shows Kami's spaceship arriving on Planet Namek)

NARRATOR: So, after seven hundred and thirty-one grueling galactic weeks of travel—or one month if you never watched "Men in Black"—our *ahem* "heroes" have finally arrived on Planet Namek. Where the sky is green, the grass is blue, and it's boring as s**t.

KRILLIN: Hey, Gohan, check it out. Blue grass. What do you think their favorite kind of music is? Huh? Huh?

GOHAN: R&B...?

KRILLIN: Huh. You're really sheltered, aren't you?

GOHAN: I had to read an entire book about peach farming on the way here. You tell me.

KRILLIN: Well... hey! We're on Namek now! Bulma, got the Dragon Radar?

BULMA: Right here! We're already picking up four Dragon Balls!

KRILLIN: See? Now we just have to find them, wish our friends back, and head on home!

BULMA: Hey Krillin, is that a Saiyan ship?

(A space pod is seen flying above Krillin)

KRILLIN: (notices the space pod) Huh?

GOHAN: I think I sense Vegeti.

KRILLIN: (sounding more frightened) Huh?

BULMA: Oh, and now those four Dragon Balls are on the move.

KRILLIN: AAAAAAAAAAAAA-

[OPENING SEQUENCE]

(scene shifts Vegeti's space pod landing on Namek, with Vegeti emerging from the crater and holding a scouter)

KRILLIN: (in background) -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

VEGETI: Ahhh... good to be back at a hundred percent again. (puts on her scouter) Augh, I just got here and this planet's already annoying me. (sees another space pod approaching Namek) Wait a minute, is that Cui's pod? (begins to walk forward) Well, I better go take care of this.

 (sees another space pod approaching Namek) Wait a minute, is that Cui's pod? (begins to walk forward) Well, I better go take care of this

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KRILLIN: -AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (gasps for breath)

GOHAN: Ya done, Krillin?

KRILLIN: Yeah... I'm good.

FRIEZA SOLDIER 1: Hey! What's that over there?

KRILLIN: AAAAAAAAAAAAA-
(continues to scream in the background)

FRIEZA SOLDIER 2: In the name of Frieza, we demand that you stop!

KRILLIN: -AAAAAAHHHHH! Wait, haven't I heard that name before?

FRIEZA SOLDIER 2: Alright, stay where you are and we'll shoot you.

KRILLIN: Don't you mean "Or we'll shoot you?"

FRIEZA SOLDIER 2: We know what we said! (fires a shot at the spaceship, with Bulma jumping out of the way)

TOILET: Nein!

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