Fragile or not? - SKZ FanFic

25

Symbol

"It's done. Tell me, do you like the symbol?"
Chan held a mirror as I stood in front of one myself.
The reflection of my back decorated with a compass was in the mirror.
The lines were perfect and it had three small letters next to it.
It read 'SKZ.'
"It's not bad at all."
I guess.
I pick up my stuff in a hurry and get out after saying a small goodbye to him.
This apartment wasn't unknown to me anymore so I sprinted out of it.
Thank God I knew the shortcut to our university without taking a bus.
I was either running or walking quickly just so I can get there as soon as possible.
My mind was clouded with one thought.
Please when I wake up let this all be a dream.
When I got to my room, I fell asleep immediately wanting to escape everything.
I made sure the doors were locked.
This is a time when I don't want any interruptions from them.

Han pov

I came back to the living room only to find Chan, Vanya, and Jeongin.
Noticing Vanya looking at her hand that was red and had our symbol, I was confused.
"Everything alright? Where is Minji?"
Jeongin shifted in his seat.
"After she got the tattoo she went back to uni."
"And you let her?"
I was getting mad. How could they just let her go?
Those guys could've done something.
"It would be worse if we stopped her."
Chan said before he went to the kitchen.
Vanya was so quiet.
"Vanya, are you okay?"
Her eyes met mine before she nodded and hung her head down.
That made me sad.
The guilt was so heavy on my shoulders.
"Tell me. We're all in this together now."
This time she left her gaze on her hand.
"I'm just thinking about... her face when she was listening to Chan. She looked... disappointed."
Something like a knife stabbed me in the chest.
I knew what Minji was thinking right now.
The pain in my chest went all over my body leading me to sit down.
After a while, I didn't notice everyone was there now.
The silence was drowning me in my thoughts.
The walls started closing on me.
Silhouettes with big eyes were all around me.
I felt their hands on my mouth, head, throat, and my chest.
The pressure didn't let me breathe.
The pain in my chest was overwhelming.
All I wanted was to cry my heart out and scream but their hands didn't let me.
Betrayer.
Liar.
Disappointment.
Worthless.
Pathetic.
Weak.
Their words repeated.
It hurt.
Every part of my body hurt.
More and more.
I couldn't see anything around me.
I could only see their big eyes and hands that grasped onto me.
No. Stay.
"Han!"
Chan's head appeared in between them.
The voices calmed down a little but the pain remained.
"Breathe Han. 8...7..."
The hand on my throat loosened a little.
I tried my best to focus on his words.
He put my hands into his squeezing them.
"Continue."
The silhouettes disappeared but I could ear their faint voices.
I took a deep breath feeling the pressure leaving slowly.
Only then I noticed how much I was shaking and that I was lying down on the couch.
This is so embarrassing.
"It's okay. Everything is alright. Don't listen to them."
Chan was so worried and his sincere words were soothing to listen to.
"I'm sorry."
I sat up and I could see the worried faces of the others.
Why did this have to happen now?
"No apologizing."
I heard a female voice from behind me.
It was Vanya's.
"I suffer with it too."
That shocked me.
It must be overwhelming for her.
"Wow. I would've never guessed."
She giggled.
"I have attacks every two weeks. Especially if I'm under stress."
"I get them often but not that much."
It was too often for her.
The silence was present again but Jeongin decided to break it.
"Guys I can't endure it anymore. Let's get something to eat and play something. I know it's too much but we can't stay like this forever."
Everyone agreed.
"We need to get to know each other more.
Minho pointed out looking at Vanya.
"I'm ordering. Tell me what do you want?"
Felix was quick to set the atmosphere positive.
Still, I felt that emptiness.
She was missing.

Your pov

I woke up and it was 4:30 am.
I slept a lot but at least nothing hurts me anymore.
My room was full of darkness.
There was no way I could sleep anymore, I am full of energy now.
I got up turning on the light and only then I remembered why I slept so much.
The clothes are all wrinkled up on me.
They had to be changed.
A warm shower will help.
Picking up some clothes I headed to the bathroom, but in front of my door was a letter.
With big lyrical letters, on the top was written 'Han and Jeongin.'
I pick it up and throw it in the room as I continue where I was headed to.

After I was clean, I cleaned my room.
The only thing left is to read their letter.
Old fashioned I can say.
I still felt hurt, I understand but at the same time I'm not okay with it.
They could've at least warned me.
They could've at least given me a hint.
But no.
They decided they should sweep it under the carpet and pretend like everything is completely fine while their lives might be falling apart.
It must have been hard, but I can't wash away the feeling of betrayal.