Fragile or not? - SKZ FanFic

31

Bubble

Tiredness.
It's not always about physical tiredness and fatigue.
Mental tiredness can't be healed by 8 or 12 hours of sleep.
It can worsen under our consciousness.
When these two are combined it gets severe.
People usually are not able to stand that kind of feeling and pressure so they try and find solutions.
Others are unbothered by this and get addicted to negative emotions as they build more and more.
Addiction is not always drugs, alcohol, smoking it can also be addiction to a certain emotion or state of our being.
Usually it is not recognised, and we can say "I'll never do drugs", while we are addicted to a certain emotion as a feeling of safety.
Stepping out of a bubble or a box we've been living in, full of illusions, is nerve wrecking but it's worth it.
Often people don't get to step out of those boxes and bubbles as they're stuck in it until they die.
Safety is not always the best option.
But are we too tired to work?
Tiredness might not be the only factor stopping us.
As long as we keep being addicted to feeling of tiredness we'll never get out of it.
We have to be so sick of it and work hard to get it away from us.
But you can't be tempted by a pack of cigarettes (tiredness) in front of you.
If you do, then you never left the bubble/box, you just built another one next to it.

Forcing myself to close the notebook, tiredness came over my eyes.
Even tho my mind is working like a train my eyes begged for sleep.
Jeongin, in this diary spilled a lot of secrets, what hurt me the most is the fact that I saw through him so many times but didn't search for an answer.
I didn't ask for him to open up.
I didn't comfort him.
I didn't try to see if I was wrong.
I didn't help him.

There is still half of the notebook left to read but that will be left for the rest of the day.
I am fresh in the school's uniform as I wait for Jeongin in the lobby.
Today, the school is swarming with students, hallways full of numerous voices and mumbling.
My mind is clouded with different thoughts and I almost didn't notice when Jeongin approached me.
"Good morning Ji! Are you feeling well?"
Han appeared behind him and greeted me with unexpected joyful words.
My lips could only form a small smile.
"Good morning to you too. I'm good thanks."
Jeongin puts his hand over my shoulder as his smile brightens the room.
"So your first class is Programming, right?"
Nodding we walk slowly through the students.
"It's next to our classroom. Sadly we won't be able to keep you company since we can't be late to this class. Let's grab a sandwich tho."
The cafeteria we got in is almost empty but in the middle stood a long table with sandwiches, fruits and croissants.
The interior is white with black furniture.
I grabbed a sandwich and a fruit as we make our way to the table.
Soon enough the space started getting crowded and at our table sat a few other students which we didn't pay attention to.
The air got thicker and I felt like I got a lot of stares.
"Minji? Are you finished?"
Han's hands held mine carefully.
"Yeah, let's just leave."
Getting up quickly we left, meeting the fresh air in the hallway.

"Here are the classrooms. If you get uncomfortable in there you can just come and be with us until the bell rings. Good luck!"
Jeongin's voice disappeared after I bid them a goodbye.
Slowly walking in the classroom there were a few students.
One sticked out.
No other than the blonde haired Hwang Hyunjin.
Hyunjin makes a small wave gesturing me to come over while I shyly smile.
"How could you not tell me we will be in the same class?"
His lips formed a smirk pointing to the seat next to him.
"Surprise!"
Tiny voice of his made me blush a little.
Taking it as a signal to sit next to him I did so.
"Are you ready to start the program?"
Looking at the desk as I play with my fingers, I answer, "Yes, I'm ready to start it today."
"Mhm. Today at 2 pm meet me in the lobby. Dress in athletic clothes."
The bell rang after his last words.
"Sure."
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, afterwards, there is a meeting at Minho's. We have to attend it. Chan said he has a serious topic."
What could it be?
A flash of the guy attacking me and the time Jeongin got shot repeated in my mind.
The others might feel uncomfortable around me tho.
Maybe I'm just a bother for all of them.
Since they accepted me quickly I don't want to disappoint them.
I can't let myself make any mistakes.
Maybe I should be an cleaner, that would be the best.
My position is hard, comparing me to the situations Jeongin went through, I won't be able to act at all.
The only thing I can do is work hard enough to catch up.
My mind went on and on.
I noticed a movement in front of me.
A person appeared in front of our desk.
It was a girl.
"Hey, who's this Hyunjin?"