Fragile or not? - SKZ FanFic

29

A dent

"Yes. I already did."
Answering him, I lift my chin a little straightening my back.
I understood what he wanted me to do.
Hyunjin moved back and sat on the bed again.
"Good. Goodbye until tomorrow."
Something flickered in his eyes before he left.
"Bye."
Three letters left my mouth before I continued to think through his words.

Tap.

Tap.

Tap. Tap.
The melody of the late summer rain seemed permanent.
Dimmed insides of my room closed each emotion of mine.
The shadows continued to grow darker as the melodic sounds get louder and more irritant.
The room was dark but I could see the outlines of the furniture.
It may not be even 6 pm.
Hugging my pillow tighter, the atmosphere seemed to tighten as well.
No energy existed in me even if I barely moved today.
I was bothered by the school starting tomorrow and I'm not ready for it without Han and Jeongin.
No matter how much I want to avoid them it's not the right time for that.
Deciding what I should do there was only one option that seemed to be the best.
That is, to go and talk it out.
This decision bothered me the whole day and the rain, even if I love it, didn't help me much.
"Minji, you can't be doing this anymore."
The words I said to myself were left hanging in the air.
The white sheets of my bed felt like chains that tied me up to the bed.
Even tho I was tired no sleep came to my eyes.
Maybe I should just get up.

After a while of staring at the ceiling and the rest of my dark room, I dragged my body up.
Opening the window I let in the soft breeze and the comforting smell of rain mixed with forest smells.
My body felt light, my legs and arms were sore and my hair was messy.
I think three days passed in a copy-paste rhythm.
Draw, read, think, sleep, wash up.
It scares me how much I depend on them.
I'm weak.
Again washing up and changing my clothes I found myself on my chair looking around my freshly cleaned room.
Memories of the years spent with those two never stopped.
The memories went on and on but there were blank spots in some of them.
If only I could go back.
Tomorrow the school starts and I can't keep acting like a child.
They said they'll wait but I can't be like this forever, for myself.
Should I go and try to find them?
With a sudden urge to go, I am already in the hallway heading to the boy's dorms.
Luckily I remembered their rooms numbers which are '914' Jeongin's and '8114' Han's room.
The first one for me to reach is Jeongin's room.
Deep feelings surrounded me as my hand is just an inch away from the wooden door.
The whole hallway is empty and no sounds can be heard.
When I knocked two times the silence was broken only for a second.
A crack of the door echoed through the hallway as a black-haired head peeks from behind the doors.
Meeting Jeongins widened eyes makes me shift a little.
"Minji? Um, do you need something?"
His soft voice travels all around me but I could only focus on comforting black eyes of his.
"Actually, I want to talk."
Jeongin spreads the door widely gesturing for me to come in.
The room I just got into is decorated with numerous posters and one eye-catching skateboard.
Except for that, the interior is the same as in my room.
Sitting in his chair he sat on his bed with his legs crossed.
Now, we are just staring at each other.

"So you want to talk, I'm all ready."
He seemed somewhat relaxed.
Sighing I play with my fingers deciding where should I start.
"Jeongin, you hurt me."
He didn't breathe anymore.
It might have been a harsh start.
"I feel like I'm not good enough and as if I'm not a good friend whom you can trust. Even if I might be overreacting I'm still feeling like that. I know this is a big and dangerous thing but still, you could've said something to me even a hint. You pretended that everything is okay, and life is going the right way but underneath it all, you could've died so many times."
As I said that the silence grew so loud but neither of us decided to speak.
That gave so many answers.
After a while of shifting and thinking, Jeongin spoke up, "At one point we wanted to tell you, talk about it with you, then we had problems with a certain group and we became completely occupied with it. I'm sorry you had to find it out that way. What can I say except sorry? There is no way we can fix our mistakes or change anything that already happened."
I bring my legs up to me and I put my chin on my knees.
"Yes, you can't change or fix anything but the only thing I want you to do is to be completely honest with me like I was with you."
He nods playing with his bedsheet.
"We will do that from now on. Again, you don't have to feel as if you're not a good friend, you're the best Minji. Don't worry from now on about that-"
"Jeongin!!!"
He looks at me and I nod before he goes out into the hallway.
Observing the room with my eyes the mumbling outside got quieter.
The posters are amazing, I should decorate my room too.
Then I noticed something peeking out from one of the posters.
Trying to fix it a thing fell out.
It was a black notebook with silver Saturn drawn on the cover.
How the hell?
Touching the poster again there was a dent behind it.