• I CHOOSE YOU • - yungi

40

Contains: self h*rm

Jongho sipped his coffee and stared at the table. It was a few days after the party and after Yunho's altercation with his parents. Jongho was still worried. Yunho hadn't talked to his mom really since then. And Yunho and his mom were very close. Jongho always heard about it from his mom.

"Jongho!" Yewon pouted, crossing her arms.

Jongho looked up and nodded. "Yeah?" He suddenly snapped back to reality. He was on a date with yewon. They were at a small coffee shop.

"Did you even hear what I said?" She frowned tilting her head.

"Sorry yeah.." Jongho lied. He wasn't paying attention at all.

She made a confused expression. "What's wrong with you lately?"

"What do you mean? Nothings wrong." He laughed a little.

"Yeah there is. You've been acting different." She said.

"I told you I'm just a little busier cause the holidays." Jongho tried to explain.

"That's not what I mean Jongho." She sighed.

"It's not? Well then there's nothing-" he shrugged only wanting to change the subject.

"Well the other day you were really quiet. And you took me home early..." She complained, a little more concerned than angry. "We didn't even have dinner."

"Oh.. well I'm sorry we can go get food after this." He apologized.

"No.. what I mean is, we like to do certain things together. And it's like we just stopped doing them.. somethings changed." She explained again more gently.

Jongho just sighed. He wasn't sure what to say. If he was honest he had so much on his mind. He never felt so stressed. He worried a lot about his friends lately and it always ruined his mood. He didn't admit it though. He gulped and put his drink down.

"And the other night.. when we.. you know.." she mumbled trying not to say a lot in a public place.

"You said you liked it." Jongho said surprised. "You were drooling down there."

"No I did! But it just felt different... and you didn't fall asleep during cuddles like normal." She pouted and looked down at her fidgeting hands. "Did you find someone else? Do you still like me?"

"Yewon." Jongho leaned forward and held her hand across the table. "I only like you okay? You're the only one I treat this way." He really meant it.

"Then why did you ignore me just now?" She let go of his hand.

"I'm sorry I got distracted." He said looking down.

"And why haven't you asked me to be your girlfriend." She asked plainly.

Jongho didn't know how to answer. He just didn't know if he could handle taking care of someone if he couldn't even snap out of his head. He wanted to be the best boyfriend he could and that might not be possible in his position.

Yewon got up and grabbed her stuff. "Since you have nothing to say. We can talk about this later. I'm going home."

Jongho could hear the tears she was holding back in her voice. He just sat there. He didn't want to go after her. She was already crying. Everyone in the cafe briefly watched their disagreement. Jongho wanted to cry. But he wouldn't let himself.

He slowly got up from the table grabbing one of his crutches and leaning on it. He looked down seeing lip gloss on the table. It was yewon's. He picked it up and put it in his pocket before leaving. He couldn't catch her now so he'd just return it later.

-

Later that day he was at the dinner table with his family and wooyoung of course. Jongho's mom loved wooyoung so he became a part of the family. Although they still didn't know his full story. They accepted him since he was sweet and helped Jongho's mom cook.

Wooyoung was watching Jongho. He noticed Jongho had been acting different lately. He didn't know what to ask though.

"Are you going to finish your food?" Jongho's mom asked.

"Huh yeah. I'm not that hungry." Jongho said and began to eat again.

"I told you not to snack before dinner." His mom said shaking her head.

Wooyoung noticed Jongho hadn't been eating much during dinner time. He hadn't been eating much during the day at all. It seemed like his parents didn't really care. But wooyoung was a little worried. Jongho was the type to eat everything and get seconds. Now he would barely finish half his plate.

After dinner wooyoung helped Jongho's mom with the dishes then went to the room. He opened the door seeing Jongho sitting on the bed staring at nothing.

"Hey jongho?" Wooyoung said causing Jongho to look up at him. "Are you okay?" Wooyoung asked.

Jongho was so tired of saying he was just fine or okay. But he didn't want to burden him more than san already had. Plus it would've been selfish to act like his situation is worse, right? Well Jongho thought so anyways.

"Mh.. I.."

He couldn't get any words out. He felt numb at the moment. But wooyoung could see through it. Wooyoung sat next to Jongho and gave him a hug. Jongho hugged back tightly. He felt like crying but he didn't.

"It's okay to feel sad. You can talk to me about it." Wooyoung said.

Jongho still couldn't find the words but the hug warmed his heart. They had hugged for a while until Jongho finally spoke.

"Its yewon.. we got in a fight today.." Jongho said slowly. He felt horrible for saying anything. The guilt felt like it was burning a hole through his chest.

"Oh no. Jongho I'm sorry.. you guys didn't break up did you?" Wooyoung asked softly.

"Nah.. she just isn't happy with where we are I guess." Jongho shrugged.

"Have you guys fought before?" Wooyoung asked.

"Not like this." Jongho shook his head.

"Well girls can be stubborn maybe she needs some time. I'm sure she'll come around." Wooyoung said trying to make him feel better.

That wasn't the advice Jongho wanted to hear. But wooyoung wasn't good at that stuff. He shrugged and went to get ready for bed. 

He went to the bathroom and turned on the shower. He slowly undressed and stepped into the shower. Cold water rolled down his back then over his arms. It stung a little. He picked up his pocket knife and drug it across his arm. Biting his lip and tears poured down his face.

'Another fuck up..'

He thought as he marked himself. He trembled a bit at the pain, washing the blood off.

'I'm sorry yewon.. you deserve better..'

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I know this one is a little dark. I just need some drama to motivate me.

Wow we made it to chapter 40! Thank you for 11.7k reads and 700 votes! This book is so fun to write hopefully I can bring it to a satisfying conclusion. Let's make it to 50!

Thanks for reading!